Black Thorns
by Cosmokitt
Summary: *A New Rose Alternate Ending Sequel* 8 years after their daughter is born, Erik and Alanna's life isn't what they want it to be. And when Alanna disappears after a fight, will Erik really believe that she has left him for good?
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to Black Thorns! This is the sequel to the Alternate Ending of A New Rose! I hope you enjoy!**

It had been 6 years since Erik and Alanna had said their vows to each other, enjoying their time as a family. Over the years, he could tell little bits of his wife were falling apart. She didn't have the fire she once had, and she was tired and more depressed. It didn't take a genius to know why, but Erik feared he was losing the woman he loved.

They lived in Alanna's father's home in Italy, with Harmony, who was now 7, and their cocker spaniel, Rose. Erik still worked at the theater, composing and still able to funnel his creativity into the music he wrote. Harmony, while mute, showed an affinity for music, playing the piano and mastering songs that should have been beyond her years. Erik was proud of her.

()

Erik paced around the living room, dodging Rose who was laying at the foot of his armchair. She lifted her head occasionally, her large brown ears draped over her paws. Erik ran a hand over his forehead, almost tripping over the dog again. He cursed and stumbled, avoiding kicking her. He nudged her with his foot, and she got up, disgruntled, laying down on the rug in front of the hearth. He continued his pacing, sighing again.

What was he going to do? He simply didn't know. The door opened and Erik spun on his heel, and saw Harmony standing in the doorway, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

"Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" Erik asked, lifting her up. She shrugged, wrinkling her nose, telling Erik that she was bothered by something.

"What's wrong?" He sat in his armchair, setting his daughter on his lap. She shrugged again, rubbing her hands together. She rested her head on his chest, and he ran a hand over her short brown hair. Her hair had never grown past her shoulders, remaining at that length. Erik was sure that that had come from him, because any natural hair under his wig had stunted growth and he had never grown facial hair.

"Come on," he said, "Let's go to bed."

She laid her head on his chest and he brought her across the hall to her bedroom. Her walls were papered with parchment, all bearing music notes. Erik smiles as he lays her in her bed, and she yawns, closing her blue eyes. Erik sighed as he left her room.

He opened the door to his own bedroom, and watched Alanna. He knew she wasn't sleeping. She hardly slept anymore. Erik didn't blame her, but he couldn't possibly know how she was feeling.

When morning came, anyone who didn't know the underlying turmoil would have thought that everything was fine.

"Alanna," Erik said, as he pulled on his shirt, running a hand over the hair of his wig.

"Hm?" She said, pulling a pair of stockings onto her feet.

"Did you ever get to sleep last night?" He asked.

"I'm fine." She said, twisting her hair into a braid.

"Alanna-"

"I'm fine." She insisted. She glanced up at him, her eyes almost hallow, and sad. He knew that she wasn't fully here with him.

"Alanna."

"I don't want to talk about it." She snapped. Erik sighed, shaking his head.

"I'll see you in a few hours then."

I sighed sadly as Erik left the room, looking down at my hands. I wanted to apologize for snapping at him, but at that moment I couldn't summon the strength to stand. He needed to understand that I needed to deal with this in my own way. I yawned, standing and rubbing my eyes. I never did get to sleep last night.

Harmony was already up when I went downstairs, scribbling at the dining room table.

"Morning Harm." I muttered. She waved and went back to her scribbling.

This didn't feel like my life.

I waited for Erik to come home. It was Sunday, so he only worked for a few hours. Harmony came into the living room once, to play with Rose, but left soon after that. I only watched her, not saying anything to her.

When Erik finally came home, I went up to our room, knowing he would want to talk to me there. He didn't say anything when he entered the room, he only sighed and sat on the bed beside me.

"Erik." I murmured.

"What Alanna?" He demanded, folding his arms. "Now you really want to talk?"

I was taken aback by his reaction. "Fine, if you are going to be an ass," I stood up, and he grabbed my arm, pulling me back onto the bed.

"No, wait, I'm sorry." He said.

I folded my arms in turn, glaring at him.

"What is wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry." He repeated. "It's just I, I'm sorry."

"No, really, what happened?" I asked.

"Meg Giry stopped by the theater, it doesn't matter."

"Madam Giry's daughter?" I asked.

"Yes." Erik murmured.

"Well what did she want?" I pressed.

"It was nothing, just dragging up things that didn't need to be." He shook his head.

"Erik," I said, wringing my hands.

"Why won't you talk to me?" Erik muttered, folding his arms. "I know it's hard, after all that you've been through, but you can't continue to shut me out. It hurts me too, Alanna."

"I know."

"So why won't you let me help?"

"I," My lip trembled and I pushed a piece of hair behind my ear as I tried to avoid speaking.

"I'm your husband, I'm not going anywhere, so pushing me away will only make your live harder. I swear, I'm not going anywhere." He took my hand and squeezed it. I closed my eyes and let a long breath out through my nose.

"I know."

"You still have Harmony, even if we can't have any more children, we still have Harm. She needs you. I need you."

In the 6 years since Harmony's birth I have not been able to hold a pregnancy for more than six months, losing 4 children so far, 5 if you include Melody, Harmony's still-born twin. That was the cause for the wedge that was being pushed between Erik and I. It wasn't his fault, it's just... I didn't know. I had no idea.

"I know."

"So, please, tell me what I can do to fix it, what I can do to make things right." Erik insisted. I let out a small sob and bowled into him, almost knocking him over as I wrapped my arms around him. That was what I needed to hear from him. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders.


	2. Chapter 2

Harmony holding my hand, I walked down the little gravel path that stretched behind the little town that was only a few miles from our home. It was a beautiful spring day, the sun shining brightly, the aroma of flowers filling the air. Harmony's blue eyes scanned everything, and she often reached out for flowers or leaves that drifted by on the wind.

"Alanna," said a voice from behind me. I turned around and froze.

"Philippe." I said. Philippe de'Chagny shared many qualities with his younger brother, like his dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes, but his face was blockier, not as girlish as Raoul's has been.

"Fancy meeting you here." I muttered, tightening my grip on my daughter. The last time I had seen my ex-fiancé was during my friend's wedding back in France.

"Yeah... I forgot that your father's home was just a few miles from here." He began walking toward me. "I myself have some estates here, and I decided to relocate."

"I see." I murmured, taking a step back from him.

"This is your daughter?" he asked, stopping in front of me and looking at her.

"Yes, Harmony."

"Interesting." he murmured. There was something in his eyes I didn't like as he looked at Harmony, who seemed to sense something I didn't and cowered away from him, clutching my skirts and hiding behind me.

"I'll see you around then," he said, turning on his heel and stalking away. I stood there for a moment, dazed.

()

Erik kissed my forehead as he came into the living room. I smiled weakly at him, sitting back in my armchair.

"Something wrong?" he asked, peering at me.

"Philippe,"

"What?" Erik demanded, crossing his arms. "He's here?"

"Yes, he said he has some estates here in Italy."

"Is he stalking you or something?"

"I don't know, but something about him... Scared me." I murmured, running my fingers through my hair.

"Well just stay away from him, I don't want you going out again." Erik yawned widely.

"Long day?"

"No, just tired, I haven't been sleeping well."

"Why?"

"It's nothing."

"Why won't you talk to me? I thought we fixed that." I muttered, running my hands over my arms.

"Really, Alanna, it's nothing,"

"Obviously it's not if it's keeping you awake at night." I tugged at the front of his shirt. "We're married now, we aren't just playing at it, we have a daughter and we're actually married. So why can't you trust me?"

"Alanna," he said, folding his arms. "That's a little unfair, I do trust you, it's just this is a small thing and I don't want to bother you with it."

"Well it bothers me that you won't tell me what's wrong." I retorted.

"We'll talk about this later," he said, kissing my cheek and moving past me.

"Erik!" I said indignantly, but he refused to talk about it again.


	3. Chapter 3

"It's been a rough few years," Alice said, walking beside me on the gravel path that wraps around the property of our home, balancing her son, Evian, on her hip. He looked like his father, with wavy chestnut hair covering his head. "It's expected that you will have some problems."

"I know, I just thought this wouldn't happen to us, this lack of communication."

"It's not like he's keeping anything huge from you, I mean he would tell you, right?"

"I suppose so." I murmured, running a hand through my hair.

"I mean, we have been fine for a week or so, but I can tell that tension was for there."

"Don't worry, you and Erik have always managed to work things out." Alice said. "How's Harmony?"

"She knows that something is wrong, but that is about it." I shrugged.

"Don't worry," Alice said. She squinted as they wrapped around to the front of the house.

"Who is that on your front porch?"

I looked in the direction of the house. "I think that's Meg Giry." I said, as we drew nearer.

"What is she doing here?"

"I have no clue." I said truthfully. We came up to the house, and Meg stood up.

"Is Erik home?" She asked.

"No, he's at the theater. Why, what do you want?"

"He just left so suddenly the other day, I wasn't really able to talk to him. I didn't mean to tell him, it just slipped out. He probably wants nothing to do with Adeline, but it was an accident."

"What?" I demanded.

She squeaked and pressed a hand to her mouth. "I thought you knew! He said he would tell to you!"

"He didn't tell me anything, but are you saying what I think you are?" I yelled.

"What is going on?" Alice said confused.

"Alanna, it's not what you think, he hasn't been unfaithful to you or anything, Erik and I we were… Together for a few months, and then he left one day, and he never even knew and I wouldn't have told him. Oh god, I thought he told you."

"Meg, what are you doing here?" I spun on my heel and slapped Erik across the face.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me that you had a child with Meg?" I screamed.

"Oh…" Came Alice's murmur from behind me. She was slow.

"Alanna, I swear, I was going to tell you, but we were just getting over this, and I didn't want to add to the tension.

"You didn't think that I would want to know?" I demanded. "And I had to find out from her?"

"Alanna-"

"I don't want to hear it!" I screamed, stalking away from him. He grabbed my arm but I yanked it out of his grasp. I walked into a clump of trees behind the house and leaned against one of the trees, trying to process what just happened. What had just happened? It had happened far too fast for it to be real. It couldn't have been real.

I put my face in my hands and broke down. I don't know what brought on this sudden wave of emotion, but it seemed the right thing to do in the here and now.

I heard someone approaching my tree, and I waited for them to apprehend me. It was probably Erik. The person stopped, and I waited. Finally I moved around the tree, and darkness fell over me as something was pressed to my mouth.


	4. Chapter 4

Erik slammed the door as he stormed into his bedroom, kicking the bed post and bruising his foot. He cursed loudly and sat on the bed, rubbing his cheek where Alanna had slapped him. He deserved it, he knew it. He should have told her, it was just they were just beginning to get over their last problem and act like a normal married couple, and he didn't want to ruin that just yet. Hell, he wished that he had never been involved with Meg. He never knew about Adeline, aside from a fleeting mention from Meg the last time he saw her, and he never knew that Adeline was his daughter. Damn it, he didn't know what he was going to say to Alanna when returned. She didn't need to stomp off like that, she was normally more rational than that, what was wrong with her? He was worried. She wasn't emotional or likely to storm away from anything. Why the sudden change of mood? Was she just trying to pick a fight?

He waited, glancing at the door, wondering when she was going to come back, and maybe hit him again. He deserved to be hit, anyway. He paced around the room before he realized the time. It was almost 7pm, she had been gone for almost 5 hours. Where the hell was she? She wouldn't leave him or Harmony…

"Harmony!" Erik called going out into the hall. "Harmony? Hun,"

Harmony poked her head out of her bedroom, looking rather distressed.

"Hey," Erik said, crouching down to her level as she opened the door fully, rubbing her eyes. "Have you seen mama?"

She shook her head, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Don't worry about it hun, you can go back to what you were doing,"

She nodded, twisting her mouth and resting her head on the frame of the door.

Erik stood, ruffled her hair and walked past her, downstairs. He looked through the window. Grey clouds in the dimming sky looked ready to pour. Alanna hated rain, and moving bodies of water, he hoped she was safe. She wouldn't really leave him, would she?

()

I tried to push myself to my knees as consciousness came back to me, and a sharp pain in my back sent me back down to the ground, yelling in pain. The room was dark and I couldn't see anything. My head pounded and my back ached, and as I tried to move I found my feet were bound.

"Don't bother trying to escape, Alanna." Said a cold male voice.

"Who the hell are you?" I gasped.

"You know who I am, rabbit." The voice said mockingly.

"Philippe!" I yelled, recognizing the pet name immediately. "Don't call me rabbit." I snarled, trying to see him through the darkness. "What the hell do you want?"

"You rabbit,"

"Well sorry for you pal, I'm married, you shouldn't have left me at the alter ass-hole."

"Yes, but you're not the happy couple you thought you would be." Philippe said. "I suppose that is what you get for marrying a Phantom."

"How did you know?"

"I just knew, rabbit."

"Don't call me-" There was a loud slap and my head jerked back. I spat blood out of my mouth.

"Shut up you little whore." Philippe snapped, his mocking tone abandoned. "I know about your husband and your bastard child, don't think there's anything I don't know, rabbit."

"What the hell do you want?" I repeated.

"Like I said. You. You and your husband are the reason my brother is dead, why we were driven apart."

"What? Anything that went on between you and Raoul was between the two of you, I had nothing-"

"You're the reason he stormed to my house and broke my jaw! He was protecting you,"

"You left me, remember?"

"Dammit Alanna, you're not listening. It was a mistake, but now I see just how big. Your husband killed my brother, and it's only right that he should pay, and so should you. I know you slept with my brother, that is why he was so inclined to protect you, I wonder," he mused, "whether your daughter is even Erik's."

"You shut the hell up!" I screamed. "I never felt that way about Raoul! Dammit, Philippe, he was like my brother,"

"Don't lie to me. I don't like it when people lie to my face."

"What do you want?" I murmured.

"Recently I made an investment, two in fact, one is the building of a new Opera House, in Tuscany, the other in Paris. I want you to come and work for me there, pretend to be my fiancé."

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"Fine, if you don't like it, you can go home, but find your husband and daughter dead."

My heart sank. _Erik, Harmony… _

"You wouldn't hurt a child, would you?" I muttered. Erik could take care of himself, he was capable of protecting himself, but Harmony…

"Do you really want to test that theory?" Philippe said, and I could tell he was grinning.

"You don't want to do this."

"Oh, but I find I really do. And unless you want to be responsible for the death of your pathetic little family, I suggest you take my offer."

"You're insane."

"Am I really, rabbit?"

_Come on Alanna, don't give into him, what if he's bluffing? _Was I going to chance Harmony's life on the hope that he was bluffing? Erik he… Oh Erik… I was mad at him, yes, but not enough to be willing to risk his death.

"Please don't make me do this, Philippe."

"You don't have a choice, rabbit, it's what you deserve."

I pushed myself onto my elbows, peering through the darkness.

"I-I'll do it."


	5. Chapter 5

"Comfortable, rabbit?" Philippe said, putting a hand on my shoulder as I finished tying the laces of my corset.

"Don't touch me." I snapped, jerking away from him.

"We're engaged, we need to be seen touching." He said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I'm married," I said through gritted teeth.

"You need to forget about that." I snarled at him and he glared at me. "We leave for Tuscany tomorrow." He snapped, leaving the room and slamming the door behind him. Thunder crashed outside and I jumped, looking timidly out the window of the guest bedroom I was sleeping in. At least Philippe didn't insist on her sleeping with him. I ran my hands over my arms, shivering. I ran a hand over my nose, sitting on the small twin-size bed, which was covered in an ugly pale pink coverlet. I didn't want to do this. I promised myself that if I ever saw Erik again, I would forgive him for every little dark secret in his life his kept from me, not that I hoped that he was hiding anything else. I wouldn't imagine I wouldn't be able to see him again, unless Philippe was taken care of.

"Oh," The lock clicked on the door and Philippe stepped back in. "I'll be needing that," He pointed to the gold band that sat beside the diamond one.

"No!" I said, pulling the ring off and clutched it to my chest. "You can't have it."

He twisted his mouth. "Fine, just keep it out of sight, you can keep the other one, though," he sniffed, "it's cheaper than anything I would buy."

I snarled at him, but I didn't respond to the snide. As he left I slipped my wedding ring onto the middle finger of my right hand. If anyone asked, it was an heirloom of my mother's. I wonder what my mother would say, if she learned about what happened.

()

"What do you mean she's gone?"

"It's exactly how it sounds, Agatha, she's gone!" Erik snapped, squaring up to Alanna's mother. "We had an argument, and she left, Alice hasn't seen her, and neither have I."

"Maybe she got some sense, and left a murderer." Agatha retorted, glaring at Erik.

Amethyst sat on the couch, looking rather pale and scared.

"Dammit, if she had done that, would she really have left Harmony?"

"Well, either way, I'm not leaving Harmony with you, she's coming with Am and I."

"Mother…" Amethyst muttered.

"Be quiet." Agatha snapped. "She left for a reason, and I'm not leaving her here."

"You are not going to take my daughter from me." Erik snarled, glaring darkly at her, his gaze dangerous. "My wife is gone, and I sure as hell am not going to let Harmony out of my sight."

"If you think that I'm leaving her here, you are out of your damned mind. I'm not leaving my only grandchild with a murderer."

"Stop calling me that!" Erik yelled, "That was a long time ago! I'm not the same man anymore. I wouldn't hurt Harmony, or Alanna." Her name caught in his throat, and he remembered when he had hit her. That had been 8 years ago. He wouldn't dream of laying a hand on her now. He wished he hadn't back then. He was thankful that Amethyst was the only one who knew about that. She didn't look likely to spill the beans now.

"Well it's suspicious, you have a fight, and she just disappears? Without telling her mother, sister, or best friend?"

"Are you implying what I think you are?" Erik demanded.

"Mother, stop, Erik hasn't done anything wrong." Amethyst said.

"You can't know that," Agatha said, silencing her daughter with a hand.

"Erik is a good man." Amethyst stood. "He has treated Alanna well, why can't you.-" She doubled over, coughing and hacking. Blood sprayed from her mouth as she toppled over. Erik caught her, holding her upright as she pressed her hands to her mouth.

"Dammit," Agatha muttered. Erik sat Amethyst on the sofa, looking to Agatha for help.

"You stay here with her, I'll get a doctor," Agatha said, her face panicked and stricken. She cursed again and fled from the room. Amethyst coughed feebly and blood dribbled over her chin. Erik handed her a handkerchief, and she wiped the blood away with trembling hands.

"I know you didn't hurt Alanna." She murmured, looking down at the handkerchief. "Just please find my sister."

"I'll try," He said. "Amethyst, why did you defend me, you know what I did."

"You haven't done it again. Everyone deserves to be forgiven Erik." She coughed again.

"Take it easy." Erik muttered.

"Alanna forgave me, even after what I did to her and father. I can forgive you for that. And it's not my business to blackmail you with that. Alanna forgave you, and that was good enough for me." She said shakily.

Erik was silent, not sure how he should respond to that.

"She's in here." Came Agatha's voice as a black suited doctor followed her into the living room. Erik stood and left the Belle's and the doctor. He sighed, realizing he had blood on his hands. He walked out into the hall, and jerked when he saw Harmony standing there.

"What are you doing down here?" Erik said, before he remembered that she couldn't respond. She sniffed, her eyes brimming with tears, Erik lifted her into his arms and she clutched his jacket, burying her face into his shoulder as her tiny body shook with sobs.

"It's going to be okay, Harmony."

He only wish he knew whether or not it was.


	6. Chapter 6

"Well, isn't this interesting." Said Philippe tauntingly.

"Shut up." I said thickly, looking up from the basin before I violently vomited again.

"This could actually work for us,"

"I told you to shut up!" I stood shakily when I was sure I wasn't going to be sick again. "Maybe it was just the travel, I'll be fine."

I had never gotten motion sickness before, but I couldn't let him believe… It would be over soon anyway, I knew that. I knew better than to hope.

"Will you still be able to perform? The opening Gala is in two weeks." He didn't seem concerned about my health at all, only his damn Gala. I had performed under these conditions before. I knew I would have to, even if I was on my death bed, he didn't give a shit.

"I'll be able to perform."

"Good," Philippe snapped. I glared at him, sitting down on my bed in my dressing room. We had just arrived in Tuscany.

"I hate you." I said.

Philippe only grinned.

"Many people are excited that Alanna Belle is performing."

I bit my tongue on the correction of Destler, knowing it wouldn't do any good.

"Just leave me alone." I said instead.

"As you wish, Rabbit."

And as he left I hid my face with my hands and sobbed. I felt horrible, I shouldn't have reacted like that when I found out, I shouldn't have hit Erik. What about Harmony? Did she really think I would abandon her? Knowing that this was going to happen again… I wanted to go home, but I couldn't risk my family. What was Philippe thinking? Erik might be able to track me down, but maybe he believed that Erik thought that I had left him, and he wouldn't want to find me. I hated this.


	7. Chapter 7

I jerked the laces of my corset strings tighter than they needed to be, but I kept jerking at them anyway. I couldn't let Philippe know… But if this continued, he would find out eventually. As much as I didn't want Philippe to find out, I really hoped that it would end up just like the other times. I let up on my corset strings a tad.

"Are you ready yet?" Came Philippe's voice through the door, causing me to jump.

"Nearly," I yelled, sighing heavily as I pulled my shawl around my shoulders.

"Alright." I said, and he entered my dressing room, since it had been locked from the outside.

"Come on, you have to meet the other manager." Philippe said. "And the cast, of course."

"What is being performed?"

"Faust." Philippe said. "A classic if I do say so myself."

I only nodded curtly. "Why do you want me to sing?"

Philippe stopped, facing me, considering me. "Because I saw your performance with Erik, the last one. I saw that raw love for him you had in your eyes as you sung for him and only him. I want you to sing for me, I want that satisfaction." He jerked my arm as he continued down the corridor.

A group of people stood in front of what looked like and office, and Philippe made a beeline for them, still dragging me. A few feet away from the door he released me and hitched a smile on his face.

"Monsieur Hardel," Philippe said, addressing a man maybe twenty years older than Philippe with powder white hair and a bushy mustache.

"Alanna," Came a surprised squeak from the back of the group. Christine stepped around them, and stared at me. I expected a sneer on her face, but what I saw was genuine surprise.

"Hardel, this is Alanna Belle, she is our leading lady,"

"Philippe, may I borrow Alanna for a moment?" Christine asked.

Philippe folded his arms. "Are you trying to steal my leading lady?"

"No, I just want a word." She said. Philippe nodded curtly.

I followed Christine, eager for a chance to get away from Philippe. We turned down a corridor and Christine turned to me.

"What are you doing here? Where's Erik?"

I couldn't answer her. I folded my arms and looked down.

"Has he done something? Philippe?" Christine muttered.

I nodded.

"He's been acting weird. What happened, what did he do?"

I couldn't help it, tears slipped down my face. "I had to leave him. Philippe made me leave Erik."

"What do you mean he made you?"

"He would kill Erik."

Those four words. The four words that would tear everything I knew to pieces. Christine looked at me, her eyes wide.

"You can't tell anyone."

()

Erik stared at the four words on the paper held before him with Harmony's crooked handwriting. _Is mama coming home? _Those four words which sent needles through Erik's heart as he stared into his daughter's wide blue eyes.

"I don't know, hun." He wish he did.


	8. Chapter 8

"What do you mean?" Christine asked, keeping her voice low. "We have to go to the police."

"Why the hell do you care?" I muttered.

"I still care about Erik. Perhaps I was immature in my way, but I care about him, and he loved you. I'm not as cruel as you thought me, Alanna. Philippe has been scaring me these last few weeks, and I could tell he has done something horrible to you."

"Stay out of it Christine, he's threatened Erik and my daughter. I won't let anything happen to them. Even if that means I have to be his lap dog. Please, don't get involved." I ran a hand over my arm.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do." She looked me up and down, her eyes lingering on my abdomen. She sighed and turned away. Did she know?

"Alanna, my little flower," came Philippe's voice. So I was no longer Rabbit? It still made my teeth grate. I moved back down the corridor to Philippe and his cronies. I couldn't find the strength with me to smile.

"She's not a cheery one, is she?" Commented the man called Hardel.

"She isn't feeling well, has a delicate stomach, that's all," Philippe said, putting an arm around my shoulders and I tried my best not to cringe.

"You were at the top of your career, why did you stop singing?" Asked a woman who was twenty years my senior and was waving a pale pink feathered fan in front of her powdered face. "Seven years, Valluae kept it very much under wraps."

"Wedding plans." Philippe said.

"For seven years?"

"My aunts want every little detail honed in, besides," He patted my shoulder. "There's no rushing love. She just wanted to take a few years off."

"I hope you're not rusty after 7 years." The woman remarked.

"You know Monsieur Valluae?" I said, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Yes, I am a regular at the Garnier, I speak a little French." She muttered. "Are you fluent in French?"

"Yes, Italian is my native language, but my father taught me French when he was taken on by a French orchestra." I muttered.

"Your father was Arthur Belle?"

I nodded.

"It was sad to hear about his death."

"Well I think we've had enough chit-chat," Philippe said, bidding hasty goodbyes and steering me away from the group.

"Try to smile next time." He hissed.

"What can I say? I have a delicate stomach." I said dryly.

"We both know that was shit, the only thing that upsets your stomach is fish."

"How do you know that?"

"We were engaged, remember when you vomited all over me because you were too polite to refuse the oysters?"

"I try not to." I winced. "And it was Raoul, by the way who comforted me after that while all you cared about were your shoes."

His grip on my upper arm tightened.

"I don't want to hear you speak of my brother again."

He jerked my arm.

"Alright," I muttered, trying to pull my arm free. He released me and I ran a hand over my arm, which was most likely bruised. "Are you ever going to let me go?" I muttered.

"What would be the fun in that, Rabbit?"

So I was back to Rabbit. And that was exactly what I didn't want to hear. But what was the use hoping that he would eventually let me go? I wiped my eyes angrily as I followed him. If I really wanted to, I could run away right now. I could turn on my heel and run. But I wasn't going to risk Erik or Harmony's life based on the hope that Philippe was bluffing on his threat.

"The first performance is in two weeks, you'll need to brush up on your singing."

Great just great. Despite over 7 years of being absent from theater there was nothing I wanted less than to get on that stage.


	9. Chapter 9

_"__Roses, you dazzling ones,_

_Balsam you're sending us, _

_Floating and trembling,_

_Secretly quickening,_

_Branches inspiring us,_

_Buds sweetly firing us,_

_Hasten to bloom! _

_Crimson and green, here_

_Springtime assume!_

_Carry the sleeper_

_To Paradise' room." _I sang, trying not to look at the rows of theater seats.

"Very good Alanna." Said Philippe from the orchestra pit, clapping, like he was praising a dog. I refrained from sneering at him.

"You were right," Said Hardel, Philippe's co-manager, "She still has it."

I really wish I didn't. Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned and saw a man standing beside me on the stage.

"Vincent Barlow," He said, holding out a hand. I shook it gingerly. He spoke in a thick Italian accent. "It's an honor to sing beside you Madam Belle." I only inclined my head.

"You seem sad, is it not a joy to be on stage?"

"Not anymore." I murmured.

"Come now Alanna, don't be so sour." Called Philippe. I had not intended for him to hear me. I smiled bitterly at him.

"Yes, dearest of mine." I said.

He shook his head but didn't say anything. Christine stood behind Philippe, her arms crossed, shaking her head. I raised my eyebrows at her and she stopped, her face going placid. She sighed and left the orchestra pit. If Philippe knows that Christine knew…

()

"Are you ready, Madam Belle?" Said a voice from behind my dressing room door.

"In a minute."

"Half hour to curtain."

I leaned on my vanity, face in my hands. I couldn't go on stage. I just couldn't. The door opened.

"Well Rabbit, the night of truth."

"I can't perform, Philippe."

"You will perform if you want your husband and daughter to continue to live happily in your absence."

"You jackass."

"I would call myself passionate, Rabbit." He sneered. "Now get in costume and get on that stage. You have 15 minutes."


	10. Chapter 10

_"Roses, you dazzling ones,_

_Balsam you're sending us,_

_Floating and trembling,_

_Secretly quickening,_

_Branches inspiring us,_

_Buds sweetly firing us,_

_Hasten to bloom!_

_Crimson and green, here_

_Springtime assume!_

_Carry the sleeper_

_To Paradise' room."_ I sang, trying not to look at the rows of theater seats. The thorns of the roses were piercing my hands as I clenched my fists around them, ignoring the pain as I felt the blood slowly drip onto the oiled surface of the stage. I loosened my iron grip on my roses and scattered them across the stage, no longer mindful of what I was doing.

A large hand grabbed my arm, his breath warm on my skin. I had to fight not to pull away, constantly sickened by what I was doing on this stage.

_"Why duck and dive? Is that Hell's custom?"_ Boomed a sweet seductive voice, one that took my heart and jerked it out of my chest. I refused to turn around, ignoring my stage directions.

"_Stand still, and let them do their scattering._

_Every gawk in place, and face them!_

_They think with such a flowery smattering,_

_To cool the heat of devils' chattering:_

_At your breath it melts and shrinks, again. _

_Now blow, you blowers! – Enough, enough!"_

The last Enough! left his lips and he spun me around to face him, and I was forced to look into the face of Erik, his features hidden deep within the cowl of a cloak. His blue eyes kindled with a passionate fire that burned me down to my core. How had he found me? If Philippe knew he was here...

_"Your bubbling's faded all that stuff. –_

_Not so fiercely! Close your mouths and noses!_

_Ah, now you've been too violent with the roses,_

_Where's the moderation you should have learnt? _

_They're not just shriveling: they're burning, burnt!_

_They float about in flames, poisonous, bright:_

_Avoid them: close together, huddle tight! –_

_Your power's waning! And your courage too!_

_The devils sniff the strange, seductive brew." _

He pulled my body closer to his his hand on my back, keeping me from moving. I held my breath as I tried to look anywhere but at him. Philippe couldn't know anything was wrong. The show had to go on.

_"Blossoms, of joyfulness,_

_Flames, of true happiness,_

_Love, they radiate,_

_Bliss, they now create,_

_As the heart may. _

_Words that are truest,_

_Air of the clearest,_

_Gathering round us_

_Eternal day!"_ I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. My heart started pounding as he pulled me closer, so our bodies were almost touching.

"Why do you deny the love we shared?" He whispered. "Why do you deny me?"

The words hung between us as he stared at me, longing for my answer. He pulled me closer, our two forms finally coming together. His hand traveled to my abdomen, where he could feel the swell of my stomach. He knew I was pregnant. The look on his face indicated that he thought the child wasn't his, and I so badly wanted to yell and scream, telling him the baby was his and I was being held hostage. But I knew I couldn't.

His grip loosened on me as his shock washed over him and I pulled away quickly. He grabbed my wrist his face twisted with rage.

_"Angel of music,"_ he sung, and the orchestra stopped playing, apparently not sure what to do with his words. "Angel of music!" His voice echoed through the silent theater, the tension rising with each moment.

_"I gave you my music. Made your song take wing and now, how you repay me... Deny me and betray me..."_ He grabbed my wrists and forced me to look into his face. His cowl fell back, revealing the broken man beneath. There was a collective gasp from the theater.

"How could you do this?" He hissed. _"Angel of music! You deceived me! I gave my mind blindly."_

He jerked his hands down, releasing my wrists and causing me to tumble to the stage. I cried out in pain as I landed heavily on my side, and he almost turned back to look at me. Almost. He seemed ready to leave the stage, facing the audience and flicking his cowl over his face. He took one step down, not looking at me.

I climbed to my knees, unable to bear it. I forgot Philippe as the words left my mouth.

"Erik!" I stood shakily as he stopped, turning his head slightly as though he had his head cocked to listen.

"_Angel I hear you speak! I listen! Stay by my side, guide me!_" I let out a sob and doubled over, wrapping my arms around my middle, trying to find the strength to continue. _"Angel my soul was weak! Forgive me!_ Forgive me!" I fell to my knees, unable to stand.

No one moved. It seemed the entire theater was holding its breath, as I was as I watched Erik's back.

"Forgive me..."

He turned back to look at me, his eyes red, his face stony and emotionless.

_"You... You alone can make my soul tale flight."_ He sucked in a shaky breath. _"It's over now, the music of the night."_

He had leapt down from the stage, his cloak fluttering as he left. Left me.

"_Think of me. Think of me fondly,_" I murmured, though my voice could still be heard throughout the theater. "_When we've said good bye," _

He paused again.

_"Remember me, once and a while please, promise me you'll try." _

It had hit me. I had to let him go. Philippe... He would... I had to make Erik believe I didn't love him. That the child wasn't his. For his own safety.

_"We never said our love_

_was evergreen,_

_or as unchanging_

_as the sea -_

_but if you can still_

_remember,_

_stop and think of me ..."_

I walked slowly from the stage as I kept my eyes locked on Erik. I stepped before the first row and made my way to Philippe's seat. I saw the pistol in his hand as he watched me, an eyebrow raised.

_"Summer fades! The fruits of summer fades! They have the seasons, so do we," _

Erik had turned back to look at me. I yanked Philippe to his feet, showing surprising strength when I had thought I had none. Phillips dusted off the front of his jacket, obviously puzzled.

_"But please promise me that sometimes you will think... Of me..."_ I kissed Philippe. Erik was gone when I pulled away.


	11. Chapter 11

"I think he believed it." Philippe smiled wickedly as I glared up at him from where I sat at my vanity, my face streaked with the remnants of what I had done.

"Go to hell,"

I crossed my arms and on my vanity and rested my forehead on them, trying to burn that look on Erik's face when he realized I was pregnant. Thought I was pregnant with a child that wasn't his.

"You're a monster," I hissed.

"Oh but this is just too much fun." Philippe sneered.

"Shut up!"

I gripped my hair, hiding my face from him.

"What are we to do with the child?" He mused, trailing a finger over my shoulders. I jerked my head up.

"What do you mean?" I pressed my hands protectively to my stomach, not looking at him. I wouldn't let him take my son or daughter.

"I have my reputation to maintain. If anyone caught you carrying what seemed to be a bastard child... Well. I can't have that." He toyed with his dagger again.

"Then cancel the show, lock me away in a room somewhere!" I said desperately. "Please don't do this to me,"

He seemed to think about it. "No... I don't think that will do either."

He looked at me for a moment. "Did you know Erik was coming?"

"No."

"Hm. Did he know you were pregnant?"

"Not until he came onstage."

He nodded. "I must say, that was quite the performance you put on for him. I thought you were going to break."

It did break me.

"Better I break his heart then have him end up dead." I whispered.

"Good choice," Philippe cackled.

"But I swear, you try and hurt my child, I will not hesitate to try and kill you."

Philippe chuckled again. "If you were going to kill me you would have done it already."

()

Christine hoisted her skirts up as she hurried down the corridor, running as fast as her dress would allow.

"Erik!" She called. "Erik!"

Erik stopped at the end of the corridor, looking back at her. "Christine," he said cooly.

"Erik," she skidded to a halt. "Erik, you can't leave."

"It's over Christine, I'm going home."


	12. Chapter 12

Erik returned to his tavern, one that was only a few miles away from the theater. He was still stunned from what had just happened. He didn't want to believe that Alanna... He simply couldn't fathom it.

"She really did leave me." Erik put his head in his hands. "I can't believe it." If she was pregnant, and the child wasn't his... What other option was there?

Erik stood and pushed the door open into the connecting room to make sure she was alright. Harmony was curled in a little ball on the bed, her eyes clenched shut as though she were trying to feign sleep.

"Harm?" Erik asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes opened, and she raised her head.

"Hey, love," Erik murmured, running a hand over her head. Harmony's blue eyes glittered with unshed tears. Erik kissed the top of her head. "Try and get some sleep, alright?"

She nodded and laid her head back down. Erik stood and headed back into the other room.

He thought back to the stage and how desperate she had seemed. Desperate that he should... Help her? There had been something in her eyes. But what of the child? The man she had kissed? Who was that man? He didn't know, he hadn't really recognized the face, though for some reason, he made him think of Raoul.

Raoul. Raoul's brother. That must have been him! But why would she go back to him... She had said when she encountered him that he had frightened her.

Oh god. How could he have been so blind?

Erik stood from his bed and started pacing. Could Philippe have done something to have forced Alanna to go back with him? He thought of her pregnancy, and something clicked in his head.

Erik stopped pacing when he thought he heard a noise from Harmony's room. Quickly, he crossed the room an shoved the door open. His heart stopped when he saw that she wasn't there.

()

I didn't get any sleep that night, Erik's expressions of betrayal keeping me from rest, appearing in my head as I closed my eyes. I stood, rattling the door knob to my room. Locked. Of course. Not like I would try to escape. I couldn't. Even if he couldn't hurt Erik, I still worried what he would do to Harmony.

A jolt of pain caused me to sit up abruptly, a hand pressed to my stomach.

Oh god, no. I thought desperately. I sat there for several minutes, waiting, but the pain didn't persist, and I relaxed my shoulders. I laid back down, still keeping one hand protectively over my abdomen.

"I won't let him hurt you, I won't let him take you away from me." I muttered.

The latch on the door clicked, causing me to jump. I clenched my blankets as someone opened the door, slipped in, and closed it quietly. I fumbled around on my nightstand for the gas lamp, lighting it quickly. It was Christine.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed.

"Alanna, I had to come," she said. "I saw Philippe with a little girl, short brown hair, blue eyes,"

"Harmony!" I gasped, my heart trying to break free of my chest.

"I didn't know for sure, seeing as I haven't met your daughter, but it seemed too much like a coincidence. And she has his eyes." Christine muttered.

"Where is she?" I demanded.

"I think the roof. I don't know, I tried to follow and he pulled a gun on me," Christine shivered.

"If I were you, Christine, I would grab your son and leave the opera house," I said. "Just leave."

Christine nodded.

"What is he doing with her? Unless..."

"Unless what?"

"She's bait. Erik will..." But how would Erik know that she would be here. "I need to talk him down, he won't shoot me, maybe,"


	13. Chapter 13

The door leading to the roof didn't open easy as I pushed my weight on it, the wind keeping it shut tight. It finally began to give and I was able to force a space large enough for me to slip through. The wind pulled at my braid and gown as I stepped out into the night but I ignored it as I scanned to roof for my daughter.

I saw Philippe standing near the edge, an arm around my daughter's shoulders and back turned to me. His elbow was crooked in such a way that indicated he was holding a gun to her head. One wrong move and he would shoot.

"Let her go Philippe!" I cried out. He spun around, still clutching Harmony tightly.

"Well," he said dryly. "You weren't what I was expecting. How did you get out of your room?"

"It doesn't matter," I snarled. "Just let go of my daughter. She has never done anything to hurt you." Harmony struggled when she saw me, but Philippe only dug the pistol harder into her head.

"You and Erik have been working in cahoots then if you knew I had taken her, where is your masked hero now, Alanna?"

"I didn't know Erik was going to be here! You saw what I did onstage! I had to turn him away! I kissed you to make him believe that I was no longer in love with him! I kept up my end of the deal, I sung for you, I denied Erik! Now get your hands off Harmony!" I screamed, fighting to be heard over the rush of wind. "Erik probably would have gone back home if you hadn't brought her here! Your plan is ruined!"

"I don't care anymore! I'm tired of the games. I just want to see him suffer! Suffer for what he did to me! He took my brother, my fiancé. I won't let him get away with it. Don't you get it, you worthless whore?" He barked, his eyes dangerous. He pointed his gun at me now, aiming for my middle. "You all deserve to suffer."

"Please, I'll do anything. Just let her go."

Philippe grinned evilly. "Chose then. Chose between your children, Alanna."

"What? I don't understand!"

"Will it be Harmony, or your unborn child who will pay for your sins?"

I stared at him, horror striking me. The choice was obvious, but I couldn't force the words from my mouth.

"Don't make me do this,"

"Chose! Or I will chose for you!" He cackled. "Hand over the child once it is born, or watch your bastard die."

"Let Harmony go."

"Is that your pick?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Just let her go, you bastard!" I screamed, tears streaming down my face, hating myself.

"Alanna!"

I spun as I heard my name, seeing Erik emerge out onto the room.

"Erik!"

"It's about time," Philippe yawned. "What took you so long?"

Erik snarled. "Give me back my daughter, you bastard!"

"Fine," Philippe released her, holding up his hands, the trigger of the gun balanced on his thumb. Harmony ran to her father, wrapping his arms around him.

Philippe raised his gun and pointed it at my chest.

Erik looked from the both of us.

"Alanna..."

"Go, Erik," I whispered. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"Alanna what is going on,"

"I thought the lady asked you to leave." The gun turned to Erik.

"Take Harmony and leave." I said.

"No! Not until you tell me-"

A gunshot split the air. "Erik!"

He stagger back, but he seemed unharmed. Philippe lowered his gun, which he had apparently shot into the sky.

"That was a warning, Erik." He said. "Next time you won't be as fortunate."

Erik looked to me, giving me a guilty look, gritting his teeth.

"Go!" I yelled.

"Alanna, I can't-"

Another gunshot fired. Erik stumbled as the bullet tore through his shoulder.

"Leave now Erik, or your wife will receive the next one!" He had my wrist in his hand, the barrel of his gun hot against the skin of my forehead.

Erik glared at Philippe, holding a hand to his bleeding shoulder.

"Fine!" He yelled. "Just don't hurt her!" Using his good arm, he lifted Harmony up, holding her to him. "Fine."

"That's a good phantom," Philippe said in a mocking voice.

I watched as Erik turned around and left the roof.

()

"What were you going to do with Erik if I hadn't arrived?" I asked as Philippe gave me a shove toward the door.

"Do you not see my gun?" He grinned as he shoved it against my temple once more, holding my upper arm tightly as he forced me forward down the stairs leading back into the opera house.

"You're a real motherfucker."

He ignored me. "I must say, I am not sure which is better, killing Erik or taking what I want from you."

"Shut up."

"I think I like our arrangement much better."

We had reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh yes, I think I like this much-"

"Get your hands off my wife," a fist connected with the side of Philippe's head. The pistol clattered to the ground as he released me, cradling his head in his hands.

"Erik!"

But Philippe had recovered, abandoning his gun and holding a dagger to my throat.

"You just never give up do you?" He spat, digging the blunt side of the knife into the flesh of my throat painfully.

Erik stood there, his shoulder bleeding, his eyes opened wide with helplessness.

"Don't follow me, or she dies."


	14. Chapter 14

Something grabbed me from behind and lifted me to my feet. Cold steel was pressed into my neck as Philippe wrapped an arm around me.

"Alanna," Erik stood where he was, a hand outstretched, knowing that if he moved my life would be threatened.

"You're not the only one who is skilled with trapdoors Erik." Philippe said, and before I knew what was happening, the floor was gone from under us and we were falling.

()

Philippe jerked me down, and I felt the bones of my wrist grating in his grip. I tried to pull free of him, but he only tugged harder as he dragged me into the familiar opera house. The Populaire. I had only been there once before but I knew the location and the building. It looked the same, only less crispy.

"You rebuilt the Populaire?" I murmured, again trying to pull my arm free of his grip.

"Yes. This is where it all began, and where it will end." he sneered, dragging me up the grand staircase. "And you will stop struggling," he snapped, "if you value your life."

Obediently, I stopped trying to pull away.

He nodded, twirling the dagger between his fingers. My back was cramped from being stuffed into a coach for several days, and I pressed a hand to it as I tried to get the knot out of my back. He jerked me forward.

"Why do you still want me?"

"The satisfaction, that's why."

I snarled at him. He dragged me into a dressing room and shut and locked the door, throwing me at the base of the mirror that stood off to one side in the room. He sighed, letting the arm with the dagger fall, running a hand over his eyes.

"Alanna, Alanna, Alanna." He repeated. I stared at the dagger. I got on my knees, and I swiped at the dagger. It clattered from his hand and I pounced for it, clutching the hilt in my hands. Philippe tutted as I clambered to my feet, keeping the dagger pointed at him.

"You don't want to do that." He said.

"Then don't follow me." I said, trying to move around him. He grabbed my wrists and forced me back. I hit the mirror hard and it smashed, but instead of hitting the wall, I kept falling. I hit the ground hard and let out a yell of pain as something sharp pierced my side. Blood flowed over my hands as I pulled a shard of glass out of my torso. I had just enough time to register the stone passage around me before I noticed Philippe, picking up the dagger.

"I don't want to play games, Alanna. Maybe we should just end this. Once and for all, what do you say?" He said. "You're just too much trouble."

"Finally figured that out, did you?" I spat, climbing to my feet.

"Enough, this ends." He swung the dagger, and ignoring my wound, I ran down the passage, hoping it would lead me somewhere safe. However, I only got lost in the labyrinth of tunnels that Erik had created. I staggered against the wall as the flow of blood increased from my side and the pain was just too much. The piece of glass was clutched tightly in my hand, slicing into my fingers. I slumped against the wall, pressing my free hand to my side. I hoped Philippe wouldn't find me while I tried to recover. I wouldn't be that lucky.

"Really, Alanna, you think you can escape me?" Philippe sauntered down the tunnel, taking his time as though he knew I wouldn't be able to escape. With shaking hands I lifted the glass as though that would ward him off.

"It doesn't have to be like this, please just let me go, and we can both walk away."

"It's not that simple," He said. "You're a little whore, whores don't deserve to live,"

"I can change, I could change for you." I let my hands fall, hiding the glass in the folds of my skirts. I stepped toward him.

"Oh really." He raised his eyebrows.

I nodded. "Yes, just give me that chance to prove it to you." I kissed him, and for a moment he let his guard down, kissing me back. I felt revolted with his lips against mine, but when I heard the clatter of the dagger, I raised my hand, thrusting the glass shard into Philippe's torso. I pulled it out and blood flowed over my fingers as I jabbed it again. Without looking back I fled from him, running back down the corridor. My own loss of blood was faster than my rush of adrenaline and I didn't make it very far. I tripped, landing on my side, jolting pain through my wound. I moaned and rolled over onto my back, placing my hands to my wound. This was the first time I had actually accessed my wound, not that I had had much chance before… The glass had pierced the muscles in the side of my abdomen, pointing down toward my hip. How much damage had it done?

I heard footsteps echoing in the tunnels and I tried to sit up, but the room started spinning and darkness fell over me.


	15. Chapter 15

Consciousness came back to me slowly. I groaned softly and wondered if I were dead.

"Good, you're awake," said an unfamiliar voice said through the haze. I opened my eyes blearily. White blared for a moment before my eyes adjusted and the ceiling of a room came into view. I sat up, the sudden movement causing my head to spin unpleasantly.

"Careful," continued the voice. "You lost a lot of blood,"

"Wha, who..." My questions became jumbled in my mouth as I looked around the room which was void of anything but the cot I was laying on and the man standing against one wall. He had dark skin and eyes, greying black hair cut short on his head. He wore a brown tail coat, his arms folded across his chest as he studied her.

"It's alright, you're safe here." He said, his deep, accented voice soothing. The corners of his mouth lifted slightly. "I'm glad you're awake though. I thought we had lost you for a time,"

I was afraid to look down at where I knew my wound was.

"Who are you?"

"Nadir Khan," he said holding out a large hand. I accepted it gingerly. "Or Daroga if you please."

"Daroga?" I mused.

"Yes. What is your name?" He sounded like he was conducting an interview. Or an investigation.

"Are you with the police?" I said, biting my lip, my heart racing.

"Yes." He nodded. "Your name, madam?"

"Alanna," I blurted. I pressed a hand to my head, still dazed from the rush of blood to my brain.

"Do you know what happened to you?" He asked gently.

"Yes," I breathed, wishing I didn't.

"Tell me then."

I couldn't stand it any longer. My hand traveled to my abdomen. I was suddenly comforted by the lump that was still there. I let out a breath and felt heartened to tell the Daroga about Philippe.

I told him about my kidnap, my connection to Philippe, and the threat against my family.

"Ask Christine Daae if you don't believe me," I added quickly. "She knows what happened.

"Noted." He nodded. "Go on,"

I continued on about how he then took me to the Populaire and my fight for freedom. And I told him...

"I-I killed him. God, I killed him." I looked down at my hands, which were trembling. "It was the only way he would let me go. The only way he would ever let me go."

Nadir stared at me. I hid my face in my hands as my shoulders shook with suppressed sobs. He took a breath.

"You're married, right?" He asked. "Why didn't your husband report you missing?"

I controlled my sobs, hiccuping slightly. "He doesn't like the police. Doesn't trust them."

Nadir studied her. "What is your surname?"

"Destler." I said without thinking.

"Destler," he mused. "As in Erik Destler?"

My head jerked up as I realized what I'd said. Did this man know Erik? Oh god...

"Y-yes," I said finally. "H-he's my husband."

Nadir pressed a hand to his head.

"You didn't know him, did you?" I murmured.

"I knew Erik very well. But married? I never dreamed." And as my face drained with blood he added quickly. "But unless you really have done nothing wrong, your family is safe in my hands."

"Really?" I cocked an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Of course." He nodded.

I looked down, hands folded over my stomach.

"Is this your first child?"

He asked conversationally, his investigational tone dropped.

"No, we have a daughter, Harmony."

"How old is she?"

"Seven."

He nodded. He reached over and grabbed my hands and I looked up at him.

"You're safe now," he said, "you have nothing from fear from me."

"Can I go home?" I asked. "I want to see Erik."

Nadir let out a breath. "Protocol says..."

"Please! I just... Want to go home."

He smiled sadly. "I will see if I can work something out."


	16. Chapter 16

Erik's cheek slid across the cool glass of the window pane as he almost dozed off again. He jerked, running a hand over his eyes as he cast his gaze out onto the gravel walkway, which was illuminated by the moon shining overhead. He had taken Harmony back home. He had searched the Opera House high and low, but without one sign of his wife. Philippe will have left. He felt like he was abandoning Alanna, but what could he do? He couldn't banish the image of Harmony hanging over the side of that rooftop, and he shivered at the thought. He wouldn't leave her alone, but he couldn't take her on his search for Alanna, in case Philippe got a hold of her again. Her certainty was not going to the police, since the assholes couldn't be trusted to do their jobs right. He was torn, between protecting his daughter, and finding his wife. He knew that in the right here, right now he could keep his daughter safe, and he couldn't run off like a madman and leave her behind. Until Philippe was dead, he wouldn't leave her alone again. Even now she slept on his bed. The poor girl was terrified. Traumatized, and everyday she still asked him when mama was going to be home. He felt so guilty for believing for a minute that Alanna had left him, for believing that the child she was carrying might not be his. He just wanted to make things right.

A coach pulled around the front of the house, and Erik snarled. Who the hell was calling at this time of night? He stood as the door of the coach opened, and gripped the knife he had on the arm of his chair, tensing his shoulders. But as a familiar short woman emerged, Erik dropped the knife with clatter and fled from the room. He was outside in an instant, and she was running toward him and he lifted his wife into his arms, tears streaming from his eyes. She sobbed into his shoulder, clutching the back of his cloak. He only tightened his grip on Alanna, grief, gratitude, and sheer and raw relief burning in His chest.

"Oh, Erik," she sobbed.

"I'm here love," He whispered, fighting back his own tears. He didn't want to let go of her. He wanted to stay like this forever. He set her back down on the ground, holding her face in his hands and kissing her as he stooped down to her level.

Another figure materialized from the coach, and as quickly as his heart had warmed at the sight of his wife, it froze just as fast.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Alanna turned and saw Daroga, and Erik tightened his grip on her upper arms.

"It's alright Erik, he's the one who found me." Alanna murmured.

"Hello to you as well Erik." Nadir said, tipping his grey cap slightly.

"Would someone care to explain?" Erik growled.

"When I heard news that the Opera Populaire had been rebuilt, I thought I would do some investigating. Your trail went cold after it burned. Or at least I allowed it to go cold. I was curious so see if you really had returned, so I went there, and all of your tunnels were still intact. I found your wife nearly dead in the catacombs, and the body of Philippe de'Chagny."

"He's dead?" Erik asked.

Alanna began trembling in his arms, her body shaking with uncontrollable tremors.

"It was an accident, self-defense." Nadir explained. Erik understood. Alanna had killed him. He turned her around and held her again and she nestled her head into his chest.

"Thank you, Nadir, for bring her home." Erik murmured.


	17. Chapter 17

Erik didn't want to open his eyes as he awoke, afraid that last night had only been a dream and that his wife was still missing. But was he pealed back his eyelids, he saw Alanna lying beside him, on her side, her hands tucked under her cheek. Her eyes were open, staring at him as he opened his eyes.

"Morning." She murmured.

"Morning, love," Erik muttered. She sighed, rolling onto her back, a hand over her stomach.

"Can we just go back to our old routine?" She muttered, "Just pretend like this never happened?"

"We'll just take this one day at a time. Nothing will be the same for a while."

She sighed, still lying in her back and staring at the ceiling. "I'm sorry, Erik, I'm so sorry."

"What for?" He asked, propping himself up on one elbow.

"If I hadn't gotten mad at you that day, maybe none of this would have happened."

"Don't think like that, he was a man out for revenge, it wasn't your fault."

She sighed again, running a hand over her eyes. Erik placed a hand over hers.

"How's the baby?"

"Fine, I hope." She murmured.

"How far along are you?"

"How long have I been missing?" She snapped. Erik was surprised at her curtness.

"Sorry," she muttered, "I just feel like you would still have a reason not to trust me." She sighed. "Four months."

"Really?"

"I'm not carrying twins this time," she murmured.

"Right. Forgot. But four months, that's good, right?"

"I suppose so."

"Do you think you can actually have this baby?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"Well we should have your mother- Oh crap," He smacked his head with his hand.

"What?" She propped herself up on her elbows.

"Your sister, she got really sick, coughing up blood or something."

"Seriously?" She pushed aside the coverlet and leapt to her feet. She dug around in the back of her wardrobe.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Erik said, standing from the bed and pulling her away from the wardrobe. "You need rest, and there is a very sad little girl who doesn't know her mama is home."

Alanna pulled her head out of the wardrobe.

"I know." She leaned her head against the door. "I just don't know what to do. Four months of my life, gone, vanished." She shook her head. "But if my sister is dying, I need to make up for lost time. I can rest later."

"Maybe she's not dying, maybe it'll pass." Erik said.

"No, Erik, it won't, my father began coughing up blood just months before he died."

"But that was under the influence of poison." He pointed out.

She raised her eyebrows at him.

"Sorry, shouldn't have brought it up." He shook his head. "I'll let Agatha and Amethyst know you are alright, and have Agatha look you over, but you will not leave this house. Ever."

"Erik," An understanding look came over her face. "He's dead."

"I know, but I don't want to lose you again, and I won't feel comfortable until I know that you and the baby are alright."

Alanna sat back down on the bed.

"Alright." She said. "Can you go see if Harmony is awake?" Erik nodded, running a hand over her arm before he left the room. He moved down the Harmony's bed room and opened the door. Rose was curled up at Harmony's feet as she slept. Erik shook her shoulder gently. She opened her eyes and stared up at him.

"Harm, there's someone who wants to see you." He murmured. She yawned, sitting up and stretching her arms before clambering out of bed.

She followed him upstairs. Erik opened the door into the room and Harmony ran past him as she embraced her mother. Alanna held Harmony tightly, and Erik saw tears in her eyes as she hugged her.

"I'm home, and I'm not going anywhere."

()

Agatha opened the door of her little cottage and seemed surprised to see Erik.

"What do you want?" She demanded. She jerked on her braid, something similar to what Alanna did when she was frustrated.

"Alanna's home."

"What?" Agatha raised her eyebrows, her eyes wide.

"She returned last night." He said.

"What happened to her?"

"She was kidnapped."

"Kidnapped?"

"Yes, but please don't mention it to her, question her about it, she just needs to move on." Erik murmured. "If you have any questions, ask me."

"Who kidnapped her?"

"Her former fiancé, Philippe de'Chagny. He's dead now." Erik said bluntly. "There's something else though."

"What?"

"Alanna, she's pregnant."

"_What?" _Agatha yelled. "How far along is she?"

"Four months."

"Did she know before she disappeared?"

"No," Erik muttered. "I thought I'd forewarn you so you can let your head explode now." He shrugged. "I wanted you to look her over, make sure everything's alright."

"Of course, I just need to check on Amethyst, and I'll come with you."


	18. Chapter 18

When her mother left, Alanna looked exhausted, and slightly bemused, shaking her head.

"My mother is just," She sighed, running her fingers through her hair.

"At least you check out." Erik responded, sitting on the bed beside her.

Alanna glanced at him, looking as though she wanted to say something. Finally she opened her mouth. "What about your mother?" She asked.

Erik gaped at her for a moment. "My mother?"

"Yeah, you never talk about her, and do you think she could still be alive?"

"I don't know, maybe." Erik muttered, folding his arms. "Why?"

"What happened with your mother? I want to know."

"I don't like to talk about it." Erik muttered.

"Erik, I don't want there to be anymore secrets between us," she grabbed his hand, "can you please tell me?"

Erik sighed. "My mother, Madeleine, she scorned me from the moment I was born, the only comfort I found as a child was in my dog, Sasha. The only time she showed me any kindness is when I saw my face for the first time, smashing the mirror with my bare hands. She told me that the mask was magic and would make the monster in the mirror go away.

"When I was twelve I let Sasha out, and some boys from the village killed her, and I ran away that night, taking a knife wound as a souvenir." He sighed. "That's it."

She touched his chest, where she knew the faded scar was that was a constant reminder of his childhood.

"Do you think your mother feels regret for what happened? For how she treated you?"

"I don't know, maybe." Erik murmured. He didn't really want to think about Madeleine. He understood her fear of him and he never really resented her for it, but after meeting Alanna, he wasn't so sure. Why wouldn't a mother be able to accept her own son?

"Maybe we should find her." She suggested. "I mean, my mother did the unthinkable, and yet here she is, maybe she's been stewing in regret for years, and you should give her a chance."

"Why does this matter?" Erik muttered.

Alanna sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "Because I know how it feels to be separated from your child. What if Madeleine feels regret for what happened and wanted to make it up for you? I mean she's had years to think about this. I thought my mother never cared about me, but yet, she came back. Amethyst could have come alone, but my mother came with her to try and make amends."

"I don't know maybe, but we're not going to start any searches anytime soon. You need rest." Erik insisted. She folded her arms.

"I know."

Erik was surprised that she didn't protest. He put a hand on her face. "I'm just so happy you're home."

"Me too." She placed a hand over his and sighed, closing her eyes.

"Where did your mother live?" She asked.

"Boscherville, France." Erik said, rolling his eyes, "But I'm sure she probably doesn't live there anymore."

"You never know." She murmured. Erik shook his head.


	19. Chapter 19

"Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean what would she say to me after twenty years?"

"Come on Erik, you can't chicken out now." I insisted, pulling his arm, but not making much leeway in dragging him. Erik adjusted his mask nervously, glancing toward the house that had once been his childhood home.

"Does she even still live there?" He gestured to the vine covered cottage.

"Yes, I think so, we'll have to find out." I said, folding my arms.

"I still think that we shouldn't have left Harmony at home." Erik muttered.

"You trust Nadir, he won't let anything happen to her." I tugged his arm again. "Besides, I'm very obviously pregnant now, and I only want to give her one heart attack at a time."

"Are you sure about this, I mean what if she just slams the door in my face?"

"Then that's her problem and you never have to see her again," I folded my arms. "We're here and I'm not letting out of this."

"Fine, let's just get this over with." He muttered. I nodded in approval and went to the front door. Unsuccessfully, Erik tried to cower behind me as I knocked on the door.

The door opened and a woman stood there, long straggly blonde hair streaked with grey framed around her face. She might have been beautiful once but her face suffered from age. The only thing remotely extraordinary about her appearance were her eyes, one being blue, like Erik's, and the other green.

"Yes?" She said, having only eyes for me and not noticing Erik.

"Are you Madeleine Destler?" I asked.

When she nodded, I held my hand out. "Madam, I'm Alanna Destler." That was when her eyes traveled to Erik, and she did a double take.

"You." She breathed, pressing a hand to her chest.

"Mother." Erik said curtly. I stepped on his foot. Madeleine looked from Erik to me, her eyes wide.

"I thought you were dead," She murmured, finally fixing her eyes on Erik.

"Nope. Still here."

"May we enter your home?" I asked, and she jumped, finally nodding. She moved aside and I walked in the house, Erik hesitantly following me. Madeleine could only stare at Erik and I as we entered the sitting room.

"So, you are married?" She asked finally, sitting across from me.

"Yes, eight years, this November." I said.

Madeleine shook her head. "All these years, I thought you were dead," She didn't seem able to speak.

"Madam,"

She held up a hand to silence me. "I'm sorry, I just need a moment to process this." She looked back at me. "Is this your first child?"

"No. Second." Erik said, finally speaking.

"Second?" She pressed a hand to her head. "What have you been doing all these years?"

"I've made a life for myself." He said, placing his hand over mine. I smiled at him.

"What made you come here?" She asked.

"Well, my wife got it into her head, and she's stubborn, I couldn't tell her no even if I tried."

He smiled at me.

"Madam, my mother had the chance to apologize to me, and thought you should have that chance with Erik."

Madeleine sighed and turned to Erik. "She is a wise woman Erik, you did well."

"I didn't come here looking for your approval," Erik muttered. I kicked him.

"I know. Erik, not a day goes by when I regret what happened. I wasn't the mother I should have been. Nothing I can say will erase what happened, you were my son, I shouldn't have treated you the way I did. I'm sorry Erik." She looked at me. "Thank you from bringing him here. For letting me say that." She looked back at Erik. "I was a coward, I was afraid. I'm a lowly human being for what happened. I've have twenty years to stew on that."

Erik reached over and grabbed her hand. "I forgive you. I've been forgiven for worse." He glanced at me and I sighed, giving him a calculating look. Did he still feel bad about striking me? It had been an accident. Maybe he didn't think so. Or maybe he was thinking about Meg. We still hadn't discussed it.

"Thank you, Erik."


	20. Chapter 20

Erik trailed his fingers over Alanna's hair as he watched her sleep. She was sleeping surprisingly well in the months since her return home. Erik was careful not to wake her as he shifted beside her so he could be closer to her, wrapping an arm around her. She shifted slightly but remained asleep. He was the luckiest man alive to have her, and he was an idiot for doubting her. No matter how much he knew that she would never lie to him, he still had a small part of his mind that believed that the child Alanna was carrying wasn't his. The chance of her becoming pregnant before she was kidnapped was slim, but then again… What if he had done something to her, and Alanna was just too prideful to tell him? But would she blatantly lie to him about it? He should be able to trust her.

_But you will never be able to know for sure. _Said a little voice in his head. Erik sat up, running his hands over his face. Why did he believe with some little tiny part of him that Alanna was lying? She had gone through lengths to make sure that he didn't get hurt, what was to say that she wouldn't do it again? To protect him.

"What's wrong?" Alanna opened her eyes blearily, sitting up. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, go back to sleep."

"Liar." She yawned.

"Go back to sleep," he repeated. She stared at him, waiting for him to answer.

"It's nothing, I just can't sleep. You on the other hand should get some sleep."

She muttered something, but a yawn made it indistinguishable. She rolled over and was asleep again in moments. He sighed and lowered himself back down onto the bed so he wouldn't wake her again. He stared at the ceiling, and he was sure that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep any time soon.

Couldn't he just believe her? He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, and bit down on his tongue. She had never given him any reason to not trust her. But yet he couldn't bring himself to…

()

When morning finally came, Erik hadn't gotten any sleep. Sun shone through the windows, and he stood, getting dressed before Alanna got up. He paced around the room as he waited for her to get up. When she got up, she was quiet, which wasn't like her. Not even a good morning. Erik waited for her downstairs, waiting until she wanted to talk. Harmony wasn't up yet, so the house was relatively inactive. Finally Alanna came down stairs, and she sighed.

"We need to talk."

"About what?" Erik sat on one of the sofas in the living room.

"Meg."

Erik's heart sank. But he knew she was right. "Yeah." He breathed.

"Did you know about Adeline?" She asked, sitting across from him.

"No." Erik said quickly. "She came to me about Madam Giry's death, and she said that I should know about Adeline." He shook his head. "I swear I was going to tell you, I just didn't know how or when. We had just gotten over our little bug, so I wanted to wait."

"I understand. I handled the situation poorly." Alanna murmured, not looking at him. "When did this happen? Between you and Meg?"

"Listen, Alanna, I lived with the Giry's for a year after I left the Populaire. It was a short lived affair. I never loved her." Erik murmured.

"What are you going to do about Adeline?" She asked.

"I don't know. Meg has probably gone back to France, I was so worried about you, I haven't given it any thought. I mean, she agreed never to tell Adeline, so…" He trailed off.

"Alright."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know." She still wouldn't look at him. "I don't know."

"Hey," He lifted her chin and brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes. "I love you and only you, Harmony is my daughter, and I will always love her. And this baby," He pressed a hand to her abdomen, "is our little blessing, and these are the only things I care about."

She seemed to be smiling in spite of herself. She didn't look guilty, or like she might be hiding something. He truly wanted to believe that she wasn't lying. Every fiber in his body told him she was telling the truth.

_There is still no way to know for sure. _


	21. Chapter 21

"Where are you going?"

"To visit my sister." I responded, pulling my cloak around my shoulders.

"Alanna-"

"Erik, it's been two months, I'm fine, and I want to see my sister. Don't worry, she's not contagious or anything." I tweaked his nose, "You worry too much."

"One of us has to. Do you want me to go with you?" Erik asked.

"No, it's alright." I said.

()

"Hey, Am," I murmured, grabbing my sister's hand.

"Alanna," she croaked, "It's wonderful to see you."

"Same, though you've looked better."

She laughed slightly, causing her to cough. Her face was thin and frail, her curly hair lank and straggly, and her skin was pale and blotched.

"How's the baby?" She asked.

"Fine. How about you?"

"Like you said, I've been better." She sat up a little higher on her pillows. "Something's on your mind, what is it?"

"Nothing, it's nothing." I muttered.

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm home, I'm with my husband, the pregnancy is going fine, but something is right. Like before I disappeared."

"What happened?"

"Erik has a daughter with another woman."

Amethyst raised her eyebrows.

"Don't tell mother, I don't need any more opposition of my marriage." I added quickly.

"Of course not, but wow." She shook her head.

"It was before we were married. It's not like he was unfaithful or anything. But I don't want it to drive a wedge between us. And there's something with Erik, like something is bothering him, but I can't place it. Something just doesn't sit right with us anymore." I shook my head. "I don't want to bother you with this."

"No, go ahead, I want to make sure that your life is sound once I'm gone."

"Am," I ran a hand over her forehead. She grabbed my hand, gripping it tightly.

"Everything will be okay, don't worry. You and Erik will work through this."

I sighed, "I hope you're right."

()

I walked into the sitting room and saw Erik laying on the sofa, propped up on some pillows and scribbling on a piece of paper. He scratched his nose and focused on his writing and did not look up when I walked in. I sat on his lap and I laid down on top of him, examining his music.

"What are you working on?" I asked.

"Just something for the theater," He muttered, putting the paper aside and wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

"Well," I muttered, "I think it is safe to talk about names, what do you think?"

"I think you are right," He said. "Well what do want to name our child?"

"I was thinking if it was a boy, we should name him Charles,"

"Charles?" Erik asked, chuckling, "My middle name?"

"And your father's," I said, "I also like the sound of it,"

"And if it is girl should her name be Terra?"

"No," I said wrinkling my nose, "I hate my middle name,"

"I see," Erik muttered. "Well then if it is a girl?"

"You should name her then, since I came up with Charles,"

"Oh dear…" He muttered, running a hand over his face. "Evelyn," he said after a moment.

"Evelyn?" I asked, "I like that," I snuggled into him. "Now what about middle names?"

"Great," He chuckled. "Well your turn."

"Erik," I said, and Erik laughed.

"Charles Erik?"

"Yeah you're right, it sounds weird, Erik Charles is so much better, well then what about Ansel?"

"I am not naming my son that! Even if it is a middle name!"

"Alright," I considered it for a moment. "Jeremy,"

"That is much better," Erik chuckled, and I slugged him in the gut. He wheezed as he tried to continue laughing at me.

"Your turn,"

"How about Jean?"

"Evelyn Jean… It has a nice ring to it."

"Alright then, Charles Jeremy and Evelyn Jean." Erik said, pulling me up closer to him. We went silent for a while, and I let Erik just hold me.


	22. Chapter 22

A high pitched scream escaped my lips as I bolted upright , sweat rolling down my face. Someone grabbed my arm and I screamed again trying to fight them off.

"Alanna! It's alright,"

My eyesight cleared as Erik came into view.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Just a nightmare." I breathed, pressing a hand to my chest.

"Philippe?"

"Yeah," I breathed.

"He's dead, you don't have to worry about him." He muttered.

"I know. I know." I ran a hand over my face, wiping away the sweat.

"Alanna, it's alright, it was just a nightmare," He ran a hand over my back.

"I want him out of our lives, I know he's dead, but he won't ever truly leave,"

"What do you mean?" Erik asked. His eyes flicked to my abdomen for a second.

"You don't trust me." I said, registering the gesture. "You think I lied to you."

"What, Alanna, that's ridiculous." He said, but his voice cracked.

"Oh my gosh, you think I lied that the baby was yours." I stood, glaring at him and folding my arms. "I can't believe this."

"Have I said anything to make you assume that?" Erik demanded, standing on the other side of the bed.

"Now, but now that I think about it, it totally makes sense." I shook my head. "Why don't you trust me?"

"This isn't about trust, Alanna," Erik said, "I saw what you went through to protect me, I thought you just might be trying to protect me again."

"I told you to your face that this baby was yours and no one else's, I wouldn't lie about something this big, this is our life Erik, our child, lying would make me no better than Philippe." I turned away from him, a hand to my forehead.

"What would you have me do? I don't know what to think! I was never cut out for any of this Alanna," He yelled.

"Erik-"

"No, you will let me finish, I-"

"Erik!" I turned back to him with a hand pressed to my side.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"You may want to get my mother." I breathed.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, now go!" Another flash of pain coursed through my side as Erik ran from the room, and I sat back on the bed, and all I could say was, "Well shit."


	23. Chapter 23

Erik looked down at his folded hands guiltily, glancing at Alanna, who was gripping the edge of the pillow with both hands.

"So the pain hasn't gotten any worse?"

"No." Alanna muttered.

"Well it's been two hours, I feel safe calling it a false alarm."

"Really?" Erik asked.

"Yes, it should stop soon," She looked between Erik and Alanna. "What happened?"

"Nothing." They said in unison.

"Right," Agatha muttered. She patted Alanna on the shoulder. "Stay off your feet, get me again if you feel any more pain."

"Thank you." Erik murmured ad Agatha left. "Alanna,"

"I don't want to hear it." She muttered, clutching her pillow to her chest.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I shouldn't have yelled at you." Erik sat on the edge of the bed. "It was out of line."

"Yeah. It was." She snapped.

"Alanna-"

She covered her face with her hands, her shoulders shaking with sobs.

"Alanna," Erik said gently, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Alanna." He ran a hand over her back, trying to soothe her. "I'm sorry, please don't cry." He was surprised when she leaned over and flung her arms around him, crying into his chest.

Erik held her, closing his eyes and letting out a breath.

"I wouldn't lie to you Erik." She muttered.

"I know love, I know." Erik held her at arm's length. "You need to calm down, Alanna, you heard what your mother said,"

She nodded, wiping her eyes. "Don't leave me, please. I swear, this child is yours."

"I'm not going anywhere." He said, running a hand over her hair. "And I'm so very sorry,"

She nodded, running her fingers through her hair.

"I love you." She murmured.

"I love you too." Erik kissed her, "And I'm so sorry."

"I know."

"I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"Just don't do it again."

()

I sighed as I sunk into an armchair, watching Harmony as she crossed the living room, her journal clutched to her chest, Rose on her heels. I growled as I heard a knock on the door and I had to lift myself out of my chair. I peered out the window and was surprised to see Christine standing there.

I opened the door and Christine let out a breath. She looked me up and down briefly with her eyes.

"I knew you were pregnant." She said, "I could tell when I saw you last." She shook her head. "I came to make sure that you are alright."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Where's Erik?" Christine asked.

"The theater where he composes. He finally felt comfortable enough to go back to work." I murmured.

"Listen, Alanna, may I come in?"

"I suppose." I murmured, I stepped aside and let her in. We went back to the living room and she sat across from me on one of the sofas.

"I just want you to know I'm sorry, Alanna, for everything."

()

Erik listened intently as he came in through the front door, sure he could hear two people talking.

"Alanna?" He called.

"In here, Erik." Came Alanna's voice. Erik entered the sitting room and stopped, sure that he was mistaken at the sight before him.

"Someone pinch me, I'm dreaming." Erik said. Alanna and Christine seemed to be engaging in friendly conversation.

"Erik," Christine said, inclining her hand.

"Hi."

"I'd hug you but I don't really want to get up." Alanna said. He kissed her forehead.

Harmony ran into the room at that moment and Erik hugged her briefly before she left the room again, apparently with more important things to do. He chuckled and turned back to the two women.

"Well, I should be going," Christine said, standing. "It was good to see you again, Erik." She muttered, moving past him.

"What was that all about?" Erik asked.

"I had a lovely talk with Christine. She now realizes how foolish she was acting when we first met."

"She nearly ended our relationship." Erik said, sitting beside her.

"She apologized, I accepted. She's actually a pleasant woman." Alanna noted.


	24. Chapter 24

Erik looked down at his folded hands guiltily, glancing at Alanna, who was gripping the edge of the pillow with both hands.

"So the pain hasn't gotten any worse?"

"No." Alanna muttered.

"Well it's been two hours, I feel safe calling it a false alarm."

"Really?" Erik asked.

"Yes, it should stop soon," She looked between Erik and Alanna. "What happened?"

"Nothing." They said in unison.

"Right," Agatha muttered. She patted Alanna on the shoulder. "Stay off your feet, get me again if you feel any more pain."

"Thank you." Erik murmured ad Agatha left. "Alanna,"

"I don't want to hear it." She muttered, clutching her pillow to her chest.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I shouldn't have yelled at you." Erik sat on the edge of the bed. "It was out of line."

"Yeah. It was." She snapped.

"Alanna-"

She covered her face with her hands, her shoulders shaking with sobs.

"Alanna," Erik said gently, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Alanna." He ran a hand over her back, trying to soothe her. "I'm sorry, please don't cry." He was surprised when she leaned over and flung her arms around him, crying into his chest.

Erik held her, closing his eyes and letting out a breath.

"I wouldn't lie to you Erik." She muttered.

"I know love, I know." Erik held her at arm's length. "You need to calm down, Alanna, you heard what your mother said,"

She nodded, wiping her eyes. "Don't leave me, please. I swear, this child is yours."

"I'm not going anywhere." He said, running a hand over her hair. "And I'm so very sorry,"

She nodded, running her fingers through her hair.

"I love you." She murmured.

"I love you too." Erik kissed her, "And I'm so sorry."

"I know."

"I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"Just don't do it again."

()

I sighed as I sunk into an armchair, watching Harmony as she crossed the living room, her journal clutched to her chest, Rose on her heels. I growled as I heard a knock on the door and I had to lift myself out of my chair. I peered out the window and was surprised to see Christine standing there.

I opened the door and Christine let out a breath. She looked me up and down briefly with her eyes.

"I knew you were pregnant." She said, "I could tell when I saw you last." She shook her head. "I came to make sure that you are alright."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Where's Erik?" Christine asked.

"The theater where he composes. He finally felt comfortable enough to go back to work." I murmured.

"Listen, Alanna, may I come in?"

"I suppose." I murmured, I stepped aside and let her in. We went back to the living room and she sat across from me on one of the sofas.

"I just want you to know I'm sorry, Alanna, for everything."

()

Erik listened intently as he came in through the front door, sure he could hear two people talking.

"Alanna?" He called.

"In here, Erik." Came Alanna's voice. Erik entered the sitting room and stopped, sure that he was mistaken at the sight before him.

"Someone pinch me, I'm dreaming." Erik said. Alanna and Christine seemed to be engaging in friendly conversation.

"Erik," Christine said, inclining her hand.

"Hi."

"I'd hug you but I don't really want to get up." Alanna said. He kissed her forehead.

Harmony ran into the room at that moment and Erik hugged her briefly before she left the room again, apparently with more important things to do. He chuckled and turned back to the two women.

"Well, I should be going," Christine said, standing. "It was good to see you again, Erik." She muttered, moving past him.

"What was that all about?" Erik asked.

"I had a lovely talk with Christine. She now realizes how foolish she was acting when we first met."

"She nearly ended our relationship." Erik said, sitting beside her.

"She apologized, I accepted. She's actually a pleasant woman." Alanna noted.


	25. Chapter 25

I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at nothing, completely numb. That was how I felt, my brain just fuzzy and blank. Erik watched me apprehensively, standing across the room, seemingly going through the book case, but really he was not focusing on the books. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply; laying back on the bed I covered my eyes with one arm in an attempt to block out everything out. Amethyst was the only person who ever called me 'Ala', the first person to ever giving me some kind of pet name, and forming the bond only two sisters can share. Amethyst had only been a few years older than I, so our age difference did not really come between us. Why had she gone with our mother? Then again, when we had played together she was always a bit bossy and wanting the best of everything, which is probably what she thought she would get if she went with our mother.

I had been 10 when Amethyst had left with mother, and she 12, and we had been apart for 8 years before I ever saw her again. Then for another 3 years we went without contact, and it was just before I turned 22 when mother and her came to the opera house begging forgiveness, and not money. Guilt tugged at my heart as I wished I had forgiven her faster, and it had not taken another 6 months before I trusted them completely. I should have known not to blame Amethyst, and yet I still hated her. She was young, and was just doing what mother told her to do. I should have realized that, I should not have been so arrogant…

I felt the mattress shift as Erik sat on it beside me, but neither one of us said anything, what could we say even if we decided to speak anyway? I lifted my arm and peered at him from where I lay on the bed. He was seemingly reading, but I noticed his eyes shifting to me more often than was necessary. He noticed me watching him as his eyes flicked from the pages of the book he was holding, and he set it down, calling it off as a bad job it seemed. He ran a hand over my forehead, and I managed to draw some comfort from his touch.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, "about your sister." I only sniffed in response. He lifted me off the comforter as easily as though I were a babe and held me in his arms, stroking my hair.

"I can't help wondering," I murmured, finally voicing a concern that had been tugging at my mind since my sister's death yesterday, "whether I will die of the same disease Amethyst and my father died of, they both had the exact same symptoms…"

"I can't say, love," Erik muttered apologetically, "I don't know."

()

Alanna stood and began pacing, but stopped dead as she winced.

"What?" Erik asked.

"It's nothing, I'm fine." She said.

"Alanna," Erik said sternly. She held up a hand as though to shush him. She let out a cry of pain and braced herself against the wall, chest heaving with the effort of each breath.

"Alright, I'm not fine," She said through gritted teeth. "Erik, I think the baby's coming."


	26. Chapter 26

"Dammit, Agatha, open the door!" Erik yelled, pounding on the wood surface of the door, waiting a moment before pounding again.

"Erik, what do you want?" She opened the door, her hair disheveled and messy, as though she had just woken up. "Can't a woman sleep around her-" She stopped, and at the look on Erik's face, she groaned, "It's Alanna isn't it?"

"Really, you think?" Erik snapped angrily. "Why else would I be here? I'm surprised you haven't been babysitter her, actually."

"Well I was confident that you would get me when she went into labor, unlike last time when you tried to handle it on your own."

"I was 95% sure that you were going to show up, and I was scared and I didn't want to leave her. Dammit, does that matter now?"

"Alright, give me a minute." She muttered, closing the door.

"No one will care how your hair looks, Agatha," He yelled. He waited for her to reappear.

()

Erik put his hand on the stair railing and was about to go upstairs but backtracked when he saw Harmony poke her head out of her bedroom.

"Agatha, why don't you go ahead and go up," Erik muttered, and Alanna's mother went up the stairs.

"Hey, Harm," Erik murmured. She nodded in response. She folded her hands behind her back and rocked on her heels. She knew something was up.

"Why don't you go off to your room, okay? I'll be down to check on you in a bit,"

She nodded but didn't move, glancing up the stairs.

"Your mama is having the baby, Harm." Erik said, crouching down to her level. "You're going to have a brother or sister soon,"

She nodded again, sighing. She flung her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shoulder. Erik wrapped his arms around her and patted her back.

She let go of him and ran back to her room. Erik sighed and headed upstairs. He opened the door into the bedroom slowly, going to Alanna's side at the bed. Perspiration already shown on her face, and she clutched his hand tightly when he offered it to her.

"How are you feeling?" He murmured, running a hand over her head.

She gave him a weak smile, though the corners of her grey eyes were pinched with pain.

"As good as I can be I suppose." She murmured.

"How's she doing, Agatha?" Erik said, turning to her mother.

"We still have some hours yet, Erik," Agatha said, shaking her head. "But it is real labor this time."

"She said you tried to break her door down," Alanna murmured, forcing another weak smile.

"What's wrong?" Erik asked.

She blinked at Erik, her face falling and she placed a hand over her face.

"Erik," she sobbed, "what if something is wrong with the baby? What if I did something wrong? Erik,"

"You don't know that," Erik said, placing his other hand on her shoulder. "Everything will be alright."

"You don't know that Erik."

Erik sighed, kissing her forehead.

She let out a moan of pain and clutched his hand tighter. After a few minutes her hand relaxed, and she was able to speak again.

"Erik, not once did I feel the baby kick. Not once. Oh Erik," she lifted his hand and rested her forehead on the back of it.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Erik muttered, stroking her hair with his other hand. She pressed her lips to the back of his hand and peered at him over it, her eyes wide, brimming with tears.

"I couldn't. I didn't want to worry you."

"Alanna," Erik said with a sigh. "You stubborn woman."

"Something's wrong Erik, I just know it."

"No more talk of darkness, forget these wide eyed fears, I'm here, with you beside you," he sung under his breath. "to guard you and to guide you, let me be your freedom, let daylight dry your tears,"

He got up on the bed beside her and she buried her face into his chest.

()

Alanna's fingernails dug into his hand as she clutched it tighter, and a cry split the air.

"It's a boy," Agatha said, and after a few moments wrapped the child in a blanket and lifted him into Alanna's arms. Alanna sat up, holding out her arms weakly to hold him. Erik placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Alanna smiled down at the small child, who had stopped crying. Erik found he couldn't look at his wife or his son, so he kissed her head, running a hand over her damp hair.

"Here," she said holding him out to Erik. "Would you like to hold him?"

Erik took his son from her, and his heart missed a beat as he looked into his face.

He had red hair, the color of rust, dusted over his head, and when he opened his eyes... Those eyes...

One green and one blue. Like Erik's mother's eyes. Finally he knew, that the child he was holding in his arms was his. No more doubt, he knew now. Emotion filled him as he looked down into the face of his son.

"Welcome home, Charles,"

"Charles?" Agatha asked. Erik glanced up at her.

"Charles Jeremy Destler."

Alanna nodded, smiling up at him. Erik handed Charles back to her.

"He's beautiful, isn't he, Erik?" She murmured, pressing a hand to her mouth.

"He's perfect."

"Alanna," Agatha murmured. "There's something you should know."

"What?" Alanna looked scared as she looked up at her mother.

"His legs," she moved aside the blanket and poked at his chubby little legs. They didn't even twitch.

"They were like that when he was born."

Alanna clutched Charles to her chest, looking down at him, holding him tightly as though that would protect him.

"It'll be alright, Erik. We can cope with it." She said, looking up at him with wide eyes.

"I'm just happy he's alive." Erik said, and her face seemed to relax. "And that you're alright," she smiled weakly at him.

"Here, give him to me, you'll need rest, Alanna, and you Erik," Agatha said, holding out her arms. Alanna stared down at him for a moment longer before handing him over to her mother.

"Come on," Erik murmured, pulling on Alanna's arm. "Let's get you cleaned up, then you can get some sleep."

"I'm too sore to move," Alanna said, closing her eyes.

"Come on, love," Erik said, helping her out of bed. She moved stiffly, but clambered out from under the comforter.

He helped her get washed up before returning her to bed. He himself felt exhausted. Alanna settled onto his chest sighing and closing her eyes.

"Are you alright?" Erik asked, running a hand over her shoulder.

"As well as to be expected I suppose."

Erik opened his mouth to respond, but when he looked down at her, she was already fallen asleep.


	27. Chapter 27

I opened the door as Alice swept me up into a tight hug while she entered the threshold. I gasped for air as she squeezed me tight to her chest.  
"Hello to you too," I muttered as Alice released me and my feet fell back to the floor.  
"Well I haven't seen you for months since you disappeared, and I want to see your son, considering I didn't even know you were pregnant in the first place." She regarded me with a stern eye.  
"I'm sorry, but after I returned home things were a little out of control, between sorting things out with Erik, my sister's death, and Charles' birth I've been busy,"  
"What happened to you?" Alice asked quietly as she ushered Evian inside and closed the front door. To avoid answering her I greeted Evian who waved shyly at me. I looked up at Alice when I was ready to speak.  
"I was kidnapped," I said simply.  
"What?!" Alice yelled.  
"I don't want to talk about it," I said, squashing her stream of oncoming questions. She followed me as I went into Charles' bedroom, which was Harmony's old one. She had been given the room upstairs once it was established that Charles would have to spend his childhood in a wheelchair and should have a bedroom on the ground floor. I lifted him from his cradle, as he had just woken from a nap  
"Is this him?" Alice squealed happily as she examined Charles, who was regarding Alice with mild interest. She seemed to have forgotten about my kidnapping at the sight of my son.  
"Yes," I said, smiling and balancing him on my hip.  
"He's very handsome, especially his eyes, how extraordinary,"  
Charles made a noise of delight as though to accept Alice's complement. Evian peered curiously up at Charles, gripping his mother's skirts with a hand as he tottered on two feet. He was two now and looked like his father, with wavy brown hair that fell past his ears and brown eyes that glittered with curiosity.  
"Why don't you go play with Harmony, Evian," Alice said, addressing her son. Evian shook his head in defiance, and Alice pursed her lips. "Wouldn't it be just grand if Harmony and Evian got married one day?" Alice said as she sat across from as I sat on one of the sofas in the living room and balanced Charles on my knee. Evian scurried up beside me and peered at Charles, sitting with his as wrapped around his legs as he looked shyly at him.  
In response to what his mother said, Evian shook his head.  
"Girls are weird." he said, scrunching his nose.  
"Oh he'll grow out of it," Alice said confidently, waving away Evian's statement. "But wouldn't it Alanna?"  
"Well I'm sure Erik would disagree." I chuckled.  
"Doesn't think my son is good enough for Harmony, huh?" Alice sniffed.  
"No one will be good enough," I assured her. "He's very protective."  
"I like his eyes," Evian said suddenly, pointing at Charles. I smiled warmly at him and ruffled his wavy hair. I then fixed Charles' red hair slightly and he grabbed my fingers with his small ones, clutching tightly.  
"You mentioned something about his leg function in your letter. What are you going to do with him when he gets older?" Alice asked.  
"The doctor said that he could regain use of his legs, since he isn't completely paralyzed, but I don't know, I guess we'll have to teach him how to do things without the use of his legs, like we had to teach Harmony sign language. That was Erik's idea."  
"I think it's odd that both of your children are disabled in someway," Alice noted.  
"Erik blames himself," I admitted. "He thinks it has something to do with his face,"  
"How does he work that one out?"Alice asked, furrowing her brows.  
"In Harmony's case, he thinks that instead of her face being affected, it was her voice."  
"What about Charles?"  
"I'm pretty sure that was my fault," I murmured, "I fell when I was pregnant with him,"  
"You can't blame yourself, Alanna,"  
I remained silent, running a hand over Charles' soft red hair and pulling him closer to me, as though in doing so I would be able to protect him from the world, or from what I had done to him. I did blame myself.  
"It's just like when I fell of the stage," I murmured.  
"You didn't fall, you were knocked down," Alice pointed out.  
"Either way, I lost a child because of it," I sighed and pulled Charles closer still. "I'm so thankful that I didn't lose him. But I wish that his life wouldn't be so difficult." Charles leaned on my chest and took my braid in his small hands and pulled on it gently. I let him amuse himself with my hair for a few moments.  
"There's no denying that he will face problems, but I've never seen you back down from something."  
"I owe it to him not to back down," I said.  
"Alanna, unless you fell over on purpose, you can't blame yourself for what happened."  
She didn't know the circumstances. If I had just let Erik explain instead of storming off when Meg showed up, it would have never happened.  
If I hadn't put myself, Harmony, and Erik in danger by chasing him off that roof then I never would have slipped.  
If I hadn't patronized Philippe when I encountered him at the Garnier...  
"I was thinking about maybe moving to Italy," Alice mused.  
"Oh yeah?" I said, thankful for Alice's change of subject.  
"Yes," she said, nodding, "I like it here, and Rufus and I are done with opera I think, though I think Velluae will blow a gasket when we resign."  
"I think so," I nodded in agreement.  
"And I hate traveling, why do you have to live so far away?"  
"I was born and raised here, well not in this house, but here in Italy, and my father left me this house, no point in finding a place in France, besides," I added, "it's less likely Erik would be recognized here." I tried not to think of when Erik had been taken into custody when a police officer recognized Erik during my last performance at the Garnier. Of course the Officer had been French, not Italian.  
"Alanna?"  
"In here, Erik."  
Erik entered the living room, pulling his coat from his shoulders.  
"Alice," He said, inclining his head to her.  
"Erik." She responded dryly. She still didn't like him.  
Erik eyed Evian warily. "Where's Harmony?"  
"Her room," I said, shaking my head.  
"Here, I'll take him." Erik said, lifting Charles off my lap. Charles cooed in his father's arms and Erik smiled. "I'm not used to all the noises he makes," He was referring to Harmony's muteness. He stared pointedly at Evian again before leaving the room with Charles.  
"Told you he wouldn't be very fond of the idea of Harmony and Evian." I said, grinning.  
She harrumphed.  
"What has Erik done that has made you so hateful toward him?"  
She raised an eyebrow. "Do I really need to list the reasons?"  
I suppose she didn't.


	28. Chapter 28

I leaned on the doorway of the sitting room, watching Harmony and Erik at the piano. Erik was trying to explain playing with two hands to Harmony, who kept fumbling the keys when she attempted to play with ten fingers. She had her arms folded, her little face frustrated. Erik patted her shoulder and tried to demonstrate again.

"Erik," I said, and he turned around to look at me. At the look on my face he told Harm to go play with Rose, helping her down from the piano bench. She scurried past me as I moved aside to let her through.

"Yeah, Alanna?"

"We need to talk about something," I murmured, stepping into the sitting room fully.

He frowned. "What did I do?"

I rolled my eyes and smiled in spite of myself. "Don't look at me like that, you didn't do anything."

"Then what's wrong?"

This was something we really needed to talk about.

"I," I bit my lip. "I think we should..."

"Out with it, Alanna,"

"Not have any more children," I said in a rush, folding my arms and looking up at him, feeling as small, something (at that moment) didn't have anything to do with my height.

Erik considered me for a moment. "I, well, are you pregnant?"

"No! After having Charles, I've only become regular again a few months ago."

It had been 6 months since Charles' birth.

Erik shrugged. "It just seemed oddly abrupt."

"I've been thinking about this for a while," I admitted. "Even before Charles was born. When I thought," I looked away from him.

"Alright then," Erik said, steering the conversation away from these painful waters. "What would something like this entail?" He coughed.

I raised an eyebrow at him and he flushed, his cheeks burning red.

"I don't know right now, but this is something we should be considering."

"As much as I love Charles and Harmony, I think you're right. Besides, I can't handle anymore children," He smiled.

I sighed. "Alright." I nodded. He wrapped his arms around my waist, stooping down from his considerable height to kiss me at mine.

"Don't worry too much about it, alright?"

"I worry too much,"

"I've been telling you this for years."

()

Erik leaned against his desk heavily, bracing his hands on the worn wood. He grabbed his cloak from a chair in a corner and draped it over his shoulders.

There was a knock on the door of his office and he looked up.

"I'm leaving, Marier," Erik said as a man with curly brown hair stepped into the small office.

"You have a visitor," Marier said.

"Send him in then,"

Nadir stepped past Marier.

"Nadir," Erik said. He had developed a new fondness for the man since he had brought Alanna home to him after four months of her absence. "What can I do for you?"

"Do I have to have an ulterior motive?" Nadir asked.

"Well, I do owe you, if someone hadn't found Alanna down there, my wife and son wouldn't be here with me,"

"How is your son?"

"He's well," Erik nodded.

"What is his name again?"

"Charles,"

Nadir smiled indulgently. "Charles? Isn't that your..."

"It was Alanna's idea." Erik muttered. "It suits him though," Erik hitched his cloak higher on his shoulders. "Why are we speaking in my office? Come on," Erik opened the door and let Nadir out.

Approaching the path leading his home, Erik dismounted his gelding and motioned for Nadir to do the same. As be grabbed his horse's reins, Erik opened his mouth to say something to Nadir. His words were cut off by a gunshot. Erik snapped his head around toward the direction of the house and didn't hesitate to drop the reins and take off down the path toward the house. The front door stood open, as Erik called out as he rushed into the entrance hall.

"Alanna!" There was the sound of something breaking from the back parlor and Erik turned immediately in that direction. Alanna was on the floor, and his heart stopped when he saw the blood. It took him a moment to register the fact that she was sitting up, trying to push herself to her feet while keeping a hand clamped over her arm and her hold on Charles.

"Alanna! What the hell happened?"

She pointed toward the hall that led to the back of the house. "He went back there,"

Nadir came up behind Erik and went in the direction Alanna had pointed, pulling his well concealed pistol out into view. Erik helped her to get feet, which he had to do because her knees were shaking.

"I'm alright," She said shakily, pressing a hand against his chest for stability and holding Charles closer to her chest as she peered anxiously around Erik.

"You're hurt," Erik took her small arm in his hands.

"It's a graze wound," she said. "The robber was shaking so bad when he fired off the shot, he just pushed us over when we heard your voice."

"I should have been here," Erik said, cursing himself. "Where is Harmony?"

"She's with Alice," Alanna murmured, clutching Charles closer to her chest, trying to quiet him. She was very shaken herself. This shocked him. She normally wouldn't get in such a state, even when Erik had been in danger of being shot. Truth be told, she had put herself and Harmony in danger, but she hadn't let herself fall to pieces over it. This was as close to that as Alanna became. Her whole body trembled as Erik wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and she glanced up at him before returning her gaze to the floor.

"It's alright love," He just hoped Nadir caught the bastard. "Let's get you fixed up."

She nodded and followed him out of the parlor. When they were up in their bedroom, Erik tried to take Charles from Alanna, which she didn't like.

"Alanna, it's okay, you're suffocating him besides," Alanna finally loosened her grip on him and let Erik take him. Charles nestled into his father's chest once Erik had a proper hold on the small child.

Alanna sniffed and pulled a wad of gauze from a box in the washroom, wrapping the wound on her arm tightly before awkwardly trying the two ends of the gauze together.

"I'll clean it later." she murmured, taking Charles from Erik again. Blood tracks were still present on her gown and arm, but she didn't seem to care.

"Erik!" Nadir.

Erik kissed his wife's forehead before heading back downstairs.

"Did you catch him?"

"Yeah," Nadir muttered sourly. He shoved the pistol back into his jacket angrily. He didn't like to kill unless absolutely necessary. "How's Alanna?"

"The wound will heal," Erik said. He couldn't exactly say she was alright.

"I'll need to take care of the robber, get an ID on him and so on, and Alanna will need to be questioned about him, is that alright?"

"Thank you, Nadir."

Nadir nodded and Erik headed back upstairs to Alanna. She still held Charles, who seemed to have quieted down. He had his head resting on her shoulder, and her cheek was pressed against the top of his head. "He wanted to take him from me."

"What?" Erik moved across to where she sat on the edge of the bed.

"He was going to take him,"

"Who?" Erik didn't think she was talking about the robber. She looked away from him, diverting her eyes.

"He was going to take Charles away when he was born. He knew, and he reveled in the fact that one day he would be able to take my child away from me. Take everything from me." she closed her eyes and tears slipped down her cheeks. Erik sat beside her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"He can't hurt you anymore."

"He still does, dammit Erik, he does,"

_Damn you Philippe to the darkest depths of hell for what you did to my wife,_ Erik though savagely. _And I wish you were alive so that I could kill you myself._

"I thought it was him, I know he's dead, but when the door burst open and a man came in, I thought it was him."

Erik should have been here, to protect her, as he promised to her when he proposed to her, when he married her. He sure was doing a good job.

He would wrap his arms around her if he didn't want to sandwich their son between them, so he held her as he did, his arms around her shoulders, his chin resting on her head, trying to provide some comfort with his presence.

"I'm so sorry, Alanna, I should have been here,"

"Don't blame yourself," Alanna murmured. "None of this was your fault."


	29. Chapter 29

I rolled over under my blankets, letting out a breath before pushing myself up. I peered through the darkness of the room and lifted the coverlet off my body.

"They're fine, Alanna," Came Erik's sleepy mumble beside her.  
"I don't know that," I muttered sheepishly.

"They were fine when you checked on them 20 minutes ago. Get some sleep.

"You heard me?"  
"Yes, and the time before."

"Just let me..."  
"Alanna Terra Destler, I am not above shackeling you to the bed if it makes you stay put." Erik lifted his head to fix me with a stearn look.  
I folded my arms sheepishly.

"Alanna, you're probably keeping all of us up, you know Harm is a light sleeper, and do you really want Charles to wake up?"  
I shook my head.  
"Relax, love," he pulled me into his arms and I rested my head on his chest. "Okay?"

"I can't." I murmured.

"Would it make you feel better if we moved Charles' crib up here?" Erik murmured. "And Harmony is just across the hall now, so we'll hear anything that goes on, alright?"  
"We shouldn't have to move Charles," I said, picking at his night shirt.  
"If it gives you peace of mind," Erik shrugged. He yawned, pressing a hand to his mouth before returning it to my shoulders. "And keeps you from acting like a rabbit,"

I shivered when he said that.

"Sorry," he said quickly, realizing what he had said. "I wasn't thinking."  
I shifted, swallowing hard. "It's alright," I responded hoarsely.  
"Damn, I'm an idiot at times, especially when I'm tired," he yawned again to prove it.  
"You're my idiot though," I said. "And I love you anyway."  
Erik chuckled sleepily. "I love you too."  
"Can I just...?"  
"Go to sleep, Alanna,"

()

I jerked awake as the sound of shattering glass yanked me from my shallow sleep. Erik was awake too, a hand raised as though he was ready to restrain me.  
"Stay here," He said. He left the room quietly. I followed him anyway, my heart pounding in my chest as I fought not to clamber down the stairs in a rush. Harmony had peered out from her room at the noise but stayed firmly in the doorframe of her room.  
"Alanna!" Erik called from downstairs, causing me to jump. His voice didn't sound worried...  
Erik had his arms folded across his chest and a bemused expression on his face as he surveyed the scene before him. Rose sat sheepishly beside a case of flowers that seemed to have toppled off the edge of the coffee table. I pressed a hand to my chest as I let out a sigh of relief. Charles started crying from the next room at that moment.

()

Erik cleared away the last of the glass as Alanna returned to the living room with Charles balanced on her hip, his mismatched eyes surveying the scene with mild interest, sucking on his fist. Erik wondered when he was going to learn how to talk. He didn't really know when a child was supposed to do that, since Harmony had been mute.

Erik dumped the glass into a bin and began to dab the water from the vase with a rag. Under the throw rug Erik could feel something under the carpet. He lifted the edge of the carpet and scooped up what seemed to be a small metal bead. He rolled it around in his hand before he remembered what it was. He grinned the held it between his thumb and forefinger as he held it up to Alanna.  
"Remember this?"  
She squinted at it and shook her head.  
"It's the bead from Harmony's bell," Erik said. "Remember, when she was a baby we attached a bell to her crib so that when she cried, the crib would shake and we would hear the bell,"  
"And then, once she would actually sleep through the night, you were so tired of hearing that bell you smashed it," Alanna smiled. "So that's what's left?"  
"Apparently it's been sitting here for eight years," Erik mused, slipping the bead into his pocket. "Has it really been that long?"  
"Yeah," Alanna breathed.  
It occurred to Erik just then that their anniversary was in two months, since Harmony's birthday had just past.  
Alanna sighed and ran a hand over Charles' head, messing up his rusty red hair.  
"Harmony!" Alanna called up the stairs, "It's alright, you can come down."  
Harmony slipped into sight timidly. She whistled through her teeth and Rose ran to her side, her tail wagging. Harmony petted the dogs head before sitting on one of the sofas, opening her journal. Alanna sighed, glancing at Erik. She was so on edge. She was too afraid. Something she would never admit to him of course.  
Erik had an idea.


	30. Chapter 30

"Are you sure this is a good idea, leaving the children?" Alanna asked nervously as she peered through the window of the coach as the country side rushed past.

"Between your mother and Nadir, they will be perfectly fine." Erik assured her, squeezing her shoulder.

"Where are we going?" She murmured, crossing her arms.

"Relax, love," Erik said.

She remained quiet, staring timidly out the window. He remembered when they were leaving Paris, and the bridge collapsed under their carriage. Alanna had hated water in large bodies or when it fell from the sky in liquid form. He hoped he was going to change that.

The driver stopped their carriage at last.

"So where are we?"

"Just outside of Piedmont," Erik said as he helped her from the coach with a hand.

She looked around, smiling slightly at the little house that stood before them, that would be all theirs. This was the first time Erik and Alanna had been so far from their home since Alanna's return. The farthest they had been from the children.

Erik sighed and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. The house the a good size, made of sturdy cobble, with a chimney poking out of the thatched roof. The driver grabbed their things and followed them inside. Erik had made arrangements for the man to stay in a nearby town until they were ready to leave.

"What do you think?" Erik asked.

"It's nice." She murmured, looking around. She tugged on her braid slightly, which Erik noticed.

"What?"

"Hm, nothing," she said, looking up at him.

"You immediately interpreted 'what' as 'what's wrong?' Something is on your mind."

"Are you sure Charles and Harmony will be alright?" She said.

"Yes, don't worry," Erik said.

He sat her down on the little blue sofa that was facing the empty fireplace. A matching blue throw rug was under their feet.

"Do you remember how we first met?" Erik said.

"I was hanging upside down by my feet," Alanna said, resting her head on his chest and looking up at him.

"Okay, what I meant to say, do you remember what happened?"

"I made a fool of myself and fell in the lake," She said.

"Yes," Erik said. "And you told me you didn't know how to swim."

"So?"

"Take a walk with me,"

()

I leaned my head on Erik's shoulder as we moved through the mass of trees, my fingers laced through his. He was humming something I didn't recognize and seemed rather pleased with himself. I wondered what he was thinking and where he was taking me.

I pulled on my braid again, glancing over my shoulder as we continued forward.

"It's alright," he said. I didn't realize he had been watching me. I'd been jumping at shadows of late, and I just felt like the flame that had once drove me was out. It was that flame that kept me going even when I thought Erik was going to leave me, when I thought all hope was lost for me in the hands of Philippe, when Erik believed I had lied to him... It was gone now. Just out, all on its own.

I ran a hand over my left arm, felling the small scar that had formed over the last two months. I sighed and nestled my head against his arm.

The trees parted, and I didn't know whether to shiver or gape in awe. Waves of crystalline water poured over large grey boulders, the rush of water running down into a clear pool at the base of the hill. The waterfall was truly spectacular and beautiful, but...

"This is Cascata del Toce," Erik said.

"Erik," I breathed.

"I know that you are uneasy around something like this," Erik said quickly. "But I thought we should change that."

He held out a hand to me. I hesitated. The last time I had been so close to such large quantities of rushing water I had almost died. But I trusted my husband, didn't I? I reached out and gripped his hand. He smiled. Without warning he lifted me off my feet, and still wearing several layers of gown, dropped me into the water at the base of the falls, water splashing every which way as my small body hit the surface.

"Erik!" I yelled indignantly once I bobbed to the surface of the water, glaring at him.

"You're a stubborn woman, Alanna, this was the only way I could think of," he shrugged. His face sobered as he pulled off his mask (which he had worn for the sake of the driver) and his pallet of fake hair from his head. Without either he seemed so much more vulnerable, raw and exposed. After setting the two aside, he then slipped into the water, still clothed.

"You know I don't know how to swim," I murmured once he was in front of me, still paddling my arms furiously to keep me from going under. This lake was deceptively deep. Like the one in the Garnier.

"That's why you're going to learn." He said.

I twisted my mouth and paddled to the edge of the lake, holding on to a rock before pushing myself onto the bank.

"Oh no you're not," Erik said.

"I'm going to drown myself if I don't loose this dress," I muttered. I shook my head as I slipped out of my bodice and skirts. With several layers of gown gone, I returned to the water in my corset -though less revealing than most left me feeling very exposed- and just a few skirts, the weight gone. Erik himself had discarded his shirt, the scars across his chest and back prominent in the chilly water. He wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me out of the water to kiss me. I encircled his neck with my arms, absorbing the warmth of his skin.

"I thought you were going to teach me how to swim," I murmured as we broke apart.

"We'll have time for that later." He said. "Right now I just want you to feel comfortable."

"With you, I'm always comfortable," I pressed my lips to his nose for a moment, my lips brushing his deformity.

"Not lately, it seems," he said. He released my waist. I clung to his arms so as not to sink bellow the surface of the water.

"I know that this past year has been horrible for you, and nothing I can say or do can heal what hurt has been done to you," he put a hand under my chin. "But I can help you not to be so afraid." He gestured the the waterfall, each surf of water over the rocks sending ripples across the surface of the lake.

"You could be missing something like this because you were afraid, of water, afraid to leave home, I don't want you to live like this," He kissed me once more.

"I miss us,"

()

Erik ran a hand through Alanna's hair, feeling the dampness evaporating in the heat of the fireplace. She lay on his chest, her head nestled up under his chin, staring into the crackling fire Erik had constructed a few hours ago. He was lying on the floor beside the hearth, occasionally lifting the fire poker and jabbing at a log to put it back in place as it shifted with a crackle of embers. Alanna seemed to be thinking about something, Erik just didn't know what yet. He remained quiet and waited for her to talk.

"Erik," she said at last, setting her chin on his chest so she was looking up at him.

"Yes, love?" Erik murmured, running a hand along her back.

"Am I reckless?" She asked.

The honest answer was yes. Erik could remember several times when she had put more than just herself in danger. He couldn't say that.

"I think you take unnecessary risks," he finally decided to say. "But your heart is always in the right place," He remembered when she had come to him while he was imprisoned, even so near the end of her term, she stayed with him as long as she could, so he wouldn't have to worry about her and so he wouldn't be alone. Motherhood had made her become more cautious, but she still had fight in her. She was an alpha wolf.

Her grey eyes averted his and she shifted again on his chest.

"Where do you see us, in say... 10 years?" Alanna asked.

"In 10 years? I'd say we would have established the Destler family. Lots of dogs, probably from Harmony's insistence. And Charles... Probably be blushing over a crush, of course he'll pick someone with musical talent eventually." Erik said. "Harmony too,"

"Have I given them harder lives?" She murmured.

"It wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was."

"Stop saying that, you would of have no control over these kinds of things," Erik insisted. "If anything, they will be stronger than anyone else that is considered normal, Charles and Harmony will have a strength inside that they don't."

"You always know how to say the right things." She muttered.

"Because it's true."

Erik tried to imagine himself 10 years from now, wondering what their lives would be like.


	31. Chapter 31

Charles looked up as his father slammed the door of the sitting room and winced. Charles set the book he had been reading his his lap as he waited for Erik to notice that he was there. Erik fumed for a few moments before pushing a hand to his face, shaking his head.

"Are you and mother fighting?" Charles asked quietly. Erik jumped when he noticed Charles sitting beside the sofa in his chair, leaning against the arm of the couch as he waited for his father to answer his question.

"No," Erik said. "I'm just sleeping on the sofa tonight, I love sleeping on the sofa," Erik plunked down on the cushions of the grey sofa, letting out a breath.

"What happened?" Charles asked. He coughed as his voice squeaked. Erik glanced at his son but didn't tease him about his voice like he normally did.

"It's nothing, don't worry," Erik said.

Charles crossed his arms.

"What are you reading?" Erik asked.

"Nothing," Charles said, pushing the book out of sight, his cheeks burning red.

"Aren't you a bit young to be reading Shakespeare?" Erik asked.

"I think his work is romantic," Charles murmured. "Though I don't know what's Romeo's problem. I mean, who would go through all that trouble for a girl?" Charles shrugged. Erik raised an eyebrow.

"Boys your age shouldn't be calling Shakespeare romantic, but pointless. And once you're older, you'll know what it's like to fall in love with a girl, and you'll understand."

"I doubt it," Charles said, tapping his fingers on the cover of his book. "And what's wrong with reading?"

"Nothing, but what is wrong is how late you're up." Erik said.

Charles had to avert his eyes from his father's icy blue gaze. "Couldn't sleep."

Erik's gaze softened. "I'm sorry if we woke you."

"What's going on?"

"It's nothing, really." Erik assured him. "By tomorrow, she probably won't even worry about it,"

Erik downcast it eyes and wrung his hands.

"Worry about what?" Charles murmured.

"Forget it, it's nothing you need to be thinking about."

Charles let out a breath and scrutinized his father before picking up his book again.

"Oh no," Erik said, pulling the book from Charles' hands.

"Erik," Charles whined.

"Go on to sleep, Charles, it's late."

Charles fixed his glasses on his nose as he looked up at his father. He had always felt so small around Erik. Maybe that was why he was more accustom to his mother, since she was more at his level.

"Fine," Charles muttered, placing his hands on the wheels of his chair.

"Good, Alice is bringing Evian tomorrow, and I'm sure you'll need your energy trying to keep him away from Harmony."

"Erik, he is 13, she is 16. He wouldn't be interested in her. Men always like to be older than the women it seems. Just ask Shakespeare." Charles pointed to the book in his father's hands. "Juliette was only 14 and Romeo 17."

"Don't remind me," Erik muttered. "Now off to bed," Erik pushed Charles' chair toward the sitting room door.

"Yeah,"

Charles pressed a hand to his chest for a moment.

"Are you alright?" Erik asked.

"Yeah," Charles muttered.

"Charles," Erik said, raising an eyebrow.

"It's just the chest pain again." Charles muttered. He had had heart problems since he was a small child. It was one of the main reasons he still remained in a wheelchair despite that his legs weren't totally paralyzed.

Erik sighed. "Get some rest then, Charles."

"Yeah," he looked up at his father. "What were you two fighting about?"

"It's nothing, really," Erik insisted.

"A nothing that makes you sleep on the couch?"

"That's enough, smart ass." Erik pushed him toward the door. "Bed!"


	32. Chapter 32

Erik let out a breath as he paced up and down the living room, running a hand over his eyes due to his lack of sleep.

"Erik?"

Alanna had stepped into the room, her hand clamped firmly around the braid hanging over one shoulder. Her grey eyes weren't dangerous anymore, but Erik still had to he cautious. For once it hadn't been something he had done.

"Alanna." Erik yawned.

"We can't just ignore this Erik. You can't just leave the room and hope it will just go away."

"I know that, but..."

"You don't want to think about it?" She said, looking up at him. "Do you think this is easy for me?"

"No, not at all, but I don't think we should worry about it until necessary,"

Alanna cocked an eyebrow. A dangerous sign. Now it would be about something he said.

"What will we tell Harmony and Charles if it does happen? Sorry, your mother will dead soon, enjoy your last few months with her bedridden?"

Erik cowered under her glare, despite the height he had on her.

She sighed. "Look, Erik, I don't like it anymore than you do. I like it even less."

"I don't want think about losing you." Erik said.

"I know." Her grey eyes softened. Erik took advantage of the moment and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead. There was a gagging sound from the doorway. Erik looked up as saw Charles with his tongue hanging out.

"You two are gross."

"You'll understand it when you're older." Erik mused.

"I doubt it." He muttered. He sobered quickly however. "So... Are you through fighting?"

Alanna looked guiltily up at Erik. "We're not fighting, Charles."

"Glad to hear it." He yawned and slumped in his chair.

"Didn't get much sleep?" Erik asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"What? No. I'm fine." Charles said.

()

"Where's your sister?" Evian asked, folding his arms and glancing around the room.

"I don't know," Charles said. "She's been slipping out a lot. Why?"

Evian jumped, glancing at him. "N-no reason."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He slumped in his seat, looking over at their two mothers, who were talking energetically. Charles looked back over at his friend.

"You seem jumpy."

"I'm fine," he insisted. Evian looked a lot like his father, his brown eyes and matching wavy hair that fell past his ears, with a handsome face he would probably grow into in a couple of years. He was taller than Charles, but it didn't take much to be taller than him.

"I don't know why she feels the need to drag me around everywhere. I have my own life." Evian muttered, pushing a piece of hair behind his ear. "Not that you aren't alright," he said, ruffling Charles' hair. Charles fixed his hair and grinned.

"She's your mother. She has total control until you're 18."

"No one has total control of anything."

Charles wondered what was on Evian's mind.

"Do you want to go outside?" Evian said, standing. "I need to get away from her." He nodded to his mother.

"Sure," Charles murmured.

Evian walked out onto the patio, Charles on his heels. He sat heavily on the bench in front of the porch. Charles wheeled up beside it, watching his friend.

"You don't like Harmony, do you?"

Evian looked up. "Why?"

"I dunno, Erik is all paranoid that you're going to jump her or something like that."

Evian laughed bitterly. "That's unlikely."

()

I looked out the front window as Charles and Evian headed out there, sitting on the little bench in front of the house.

"I worry about Evian," Alice mused, following my gaze.

"Oh yeah?"

"He's been not quite right. Distant. He's gotten moody as well,"

I shrugged, unable to offer her advice, not having gone through that with either of my children. "What does Rufus say?"

"That it's probably just a phase and he'll be back to normal soon." Alice murmured.

"Charles hasn't changed much, other than the squeaking." I shrugged.

"Lucky you," Alice said dryly.

"I'm sure Rufus is right." I said quickly.

"Where's Erik?" Alice asked.

"Theater," I murmured.

"Oh."

"You can't tell me you still hate him," I said, exasperated.

"No..."

"Yes you do."

"Maybe a little."


	33. Chapter 33

I shook my hair out over my shoulders as I scrutinized my reflection before me. I sat before my little vanity, running my fingers through my greying blonde hair. I pulled my hands away and with them came something else. My heart thudded in my chest as I looked down at the chunks of hair in my hands. I wrapped them in a tissue and threw them in the bin beside the vanity, as though hiding evidence from the scene of a crime. The scene of my lie. My façade. How was I supposed to tell Erik I was already showing symptoms of the disease and I had been for months? I scratched my skin absentmindedly before looking down at my arm. The skin flaked away where my nails had come into contact, revealing angry red blotches. I yanked my sleeves down over my forearms, trying to hide the bags under my eyes as I turned back to the vanity. It was just like when I had tried to hide my pregnancy, I realized. Tightening corsets, hiding morning sickness... Pretending everything was alright when it wasn't. Keeping something from Erik. I had tried to bring it up, but he had just shut down, wishing to remain ignorant of the now inevitable. I couldn't keep this from him any more. I twisted my hair into a lose braid, careful not to tear out any more locks of hair, and sighed. How could I tell him? I didn't even want to admit it to myself. That I was never going to see Charles grow into manhood. Never go to Charles' and Harmony's weddings. Never hold my grandchildren. Never grow old with Erik. I loved my family more than anything and I didn't want to leave them. I had to keep tears from streaming down my face so as not to disturb the mask to hide my growing illness. Growing shame.

I had to tell them. Charles already knew something was wrong. And Harm... Well, I never knew what was going through her head. I couldn't let them remain ignorant anymore.

"Hello," Erik said, entering our room and pulling off his cloak, dropping it on the bed.

"Erik," I murmured.

He looked up at me. "What's wrong?"

I stayed seated on the stool that sat in front of my balcony, hands on my knees, my head bowed low.

"We need to talk about the disease, Erik, and if it-"

"No, Alanna," Erik said, cutting me off. "Please, don't. I just, I don't want..."

"I know but,"

"No, I don't want to have to think about it earlier than I have to." He held up his hands. "There is no need to hang something like this over our heads, like an axe,"

"Erik,"

"You may not even have it, so why worry?"

"Erik." He wasn't listening to me. He just kept rambling.

"I'm sure we have years before we have to worry about this, if ever. So-"

"Erik! I'm sick," I said finally, standing to face him. "I'm sick."

Erik looked as though a heavy weight had hit him in the chest and he staggered backward from me.

"N-no, god, no!"

I looked away from him, rolling up my sleeves and revealing my scabbed arms. "Yes,"

"How long have you known? You should have told me!"

I had expected this. "I tried Erik. You refused to talk. You just stuck your head in the sand and refused to see what was right in front of you."

He sunk down onto the bed. "I-I know I did..." He looked up at me. "Come here," he said. I walked over to him and he took me in his arms. I nestled my head into his chest as he rested his chin on top of my hair. "I'm sorry,"

"I know."

"I just didn't want you to leave me."

I wrapped my arms tighter around him. "I don't want to go."

()

"What are you reading?" I asked as I entered Charles' room, pushing the door closed behind my. He sat on his bed, a small blue book in his hands.

"Poe," he murmured. "Masque of the Red Death." I sat on the bed before him, smiling to myself. I sobered quickly.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" I muttered. He put aside his book and looked up at me, eyebrows furrowed at my expression. He fixes his glasses and waited for me to speak.

"Do you remember what I told you about your aunt?"

"Only that she died before I was born." He shrugged. "Why?"

"Well she had a disease. One that runs in the family. My father had it."

Charles' face fell. "And do we have it?"

"I don't know." I admitted. "But... I have it,"

"W-what?" His blue and green eyes become wide with realization and shock. "But you're not sick! You don't look sick," he shook his head, as though trying to find some explanation other than my being sick.

"Charles," I took his hands. "I am sick, you just can't see it yet."

His eyes brimmed with tears and I leaned over and wrapped my arms around him.

Charles had always been my little miracle. Surviving to birth despite what Philippe put me through and my body's continuous rejections of the pregnancies before his. He was incredibly smart beyond his years and had a kind heart, everything I could ask from a son and more. I was so proud of him. It tore me apart to have to hold him now as he cried, knowing his mother was going to die.


	34. Chapter 34

Charles wiped the water from his eyes as the rain continued to trickle down his hair and behind his glasses, but he didn't care. His chair slowed to a halt on the gravel road that led away from his home, one that was so familiar to him. His arms didn't have the strength to push him any farther. Farther from the thought of his mother's death. It was too much for his ten year old mind. He couldn't contemplate a world without her there. A world he didn't want to see.

"Hey, kid," said a familiar voice behind him.

"What are you doing here?" Charles asked.

"Your mother said I could find you here." Evian stepped around the chair, holding an umbrella over his head, tilting it so it covered Charles' head.

"Why are you out here in the rain?" He muttered, jerking the end of his black coat. "My mother used to tell me I'd get sick."

Charles shrugged, pulling off his glasses as wiped them fruitlessly on his soaked jacket, refusing to look at Evian.

"Hey," Evian leaned forward and tilted Charles' head up with a finger. "What's wrong?" Evian pulled his hand away from Charles' face quickly and ran his thumbs over this fingers. Discarding his friend's odd behavior, Charles coughed, looking away.

"It's mother. She's sick."

Evian nodded slowly. "And by the way you're acting, she isn't getting better is she?"

Charles sniffed loudly, glad the rain hid his tears.

"I'm sorry," Evian said.

Charles nodded. Words could only provide so much comfort. Evian scoffed and set aside his umbrella, rain pounding onto his head and dampening his wavy hair. He wrapped his arms around Charles' allowing Charles to cling to him like a child, like the child he felt. The child he was, without his mother.

"I really am sorry, Charles,"

"She can't leave me, she can't."

Evian held him for a moment longer before releasing him slowly. "She doesn't want to leave either." He shrugged. "I know she doesn't. Sometimes we just don't have a choice."

Charles folded his arms and looked away from him as his eyes continued to burn with his tears.

"At least you'll still have Erik."

Charles nodded bitterly.

"You'll have me."

Charles looked up.

"I'm your friend. I'll be here," he said. "I would be a terrible person if I let you go through something like this alone."

Charles smiled through his tears, grateful for his friend.

Evian put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's get you back home, before you really do get sick."

()

"Did you tell Harmony?" I asked. Erik sat on the sitting room sofa beside me, taking my hand.

"Yes. Did you..."

"Yes. I told him," I murmured. "He didn't take it well."

"No one would," Erik said.

I buried my face in his arm. "I can't believe I'm doing this to them,"

"It's not your fault."

We were silent for a time, sitting together.

"I love you."


	35. Chapter 35

Erik watched Alanna as she slept, propped up one elbow. He listened to her ragged breathing sadly, running a hand over her side. She made a noise and shifted, but remained asleep. Erik let out a breath and continued watching her. What was he going to do? If... No. When she died... He didn't want to think about it. After all they had been through, this stupid hereditary disease would be the thing to take her down? She had always seemed so solid, so invisible. And now... God. He couldn't even...

"Erik," Alanna mumbled in her sleep, rolling over and curling up into his chest. Erik put an arm around her, laying down fully and nestling her head under his chin.

He didn't know what he was going to do without her.

()

Erik and I lifted our heads as we heard something from inside the house. I shook my head, still trapped in the haze of sleep. Erik let go of me and I stood shakily, trying to figure out what was making that noise. Erik rubbed his eyes, pushing back the coverlet.

"What-"

"Charles," I darted from the room, nearly tripping on the stairs as my shaky legs threatened to give way. His moans of pain grew louder as I skidded to a halt at the bottom of the stairs, steadying myself on the railing to keep from toppling over. I turned down the hall and to his bedroom door, pushing it open. His room was dimly lot by a candle on his bedside table which he had managed to light. His pale and sweaty face was illuminated in the flickering light of the guttering flame. He was sitting up, one hand pressed against the bed, the other against his heaving chest.

"Mother!" He gasped, his word choppy. Erik had appeared behind me, unsure what to do.

"Come on," I said calmly, laying him back down and turning him on his side, trying to soothe his pain, trying to direct the rushing blood flow away from his heart. His breathing eased slightly, but he still kept one hand clamped tightly on his damp nightshirt.

"Erik," I said, looking up at him, his face pale and helpless. "Could you bring me something to cool him down?"

He nodded and disappeared. Charles' hand found mine and he gripped it tightly. I tried to soothe him, knowing there was nothing I could do until his pain stopped and the blood stopped rushing. Erik returned with a basin of water and a rag, which I pressed to Charles' head, dampening his red hair. Harmony had appeared, stepping up beside her father. Erik put a hand on her shoulder and led them away from Charles' room.

Slowly, his temperature and heart rate returned to normal, and he was able to sit up again, still pressing the damp rag to his head.

"I wish it would stop," he said hoarsely.

"I do too, hon." I murmured. "Maybe when you're older..."

Charles sniffed, lowering the rag. My son looked up at me with sad eyes.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

"Is it... I mean..." He swallowed. "You'll love me, no matter what, right?"

I was taken aback. "Of course."

"Am I... Different?"

"In what way?" It was an odd thing for him to say, especially after what had just happened.

"Just... Different. I can't explain it." He massaged his chest with a hand. "When it doesn't hurt..."

He wasn't making any sense. I watched him for a time.

"Charles?"

He glanced up at me again, his eyes dropping slightly.

"When you figure it out, you tell me, alright? But for now you need sleep, alright? And no leaving your bed tomorrow."

He nodded. Weakly, he wrapped his arms around me.


	36. Chapter 36

Charles scratched the paper angrily with the tip of his pen, only managing to tear the page. He sighed angrily and set his pen aside, looking down at his failed sketch. Erik and his mother were out, leaving him here alone, since Harmony had slipped out again. Where was that girl going? He heard a tap on something behind him and he turned his head to see Evian leaning in the doorway.

"How'd you get in?" Charles asked, turning his chair to face him.

"I'm a burglar, came to steal your things." He said. "You really should keep that door locked when your parents aren't home."

"I know. How did you know they weren't here?"

"Whose parents do you think they're with?" Evian shrugged. "I figured you'd be at home, sulking."

"I'm not sulking." Charles murmured, slumping in his chair.

"Hm, right," Evian smiled.

"Maybe a little."

"Thought so." Evian had always had this knack of reading Charles like a book.

Charles folded his arms and stuck his tongue out at his friend.

"You really should smile more." Evian said.

"Where have you been?" Charles asked. "I haven't seen you for weeks."

"I've been doing some soul searching." He hesitated. "Just trying to find out who I am."

"You're fourteen."

"There's more to it than you would think."

"Met any girls?" Charles' voice squeaked as he tired to speak. Evian smiled, but it faded quickly.

"No. Though mother is pushing me to put myself out there, trying to hook me up with girls in town."

"Don't like any of them?"

"Not particularly. They aren't really my type." He shrugged.

"What's your type?"

He opened his mouth and shook his head. "Don't worry about it."

Charles was going to press the matter, but Evian cut over him, peering at his desk.

"What's this?"

"Nothing!" Charles said, flipping the page over and putting his elbows on it. Evian chuckled and raised an eyebrow.

"Self conscious much?"

"Maybe." Charles muttered, his cheeks blossoming. "But really, it's nothing, I ripped it anyway."

"Why?"

"The pen, you know."

"How's Alanna?" Evian asked. "She seemed alright when I saw her, but I don't know."

Charles downcast his eyes. "She's getting worse. She gets dizzy and wobbly, stays in bed most days."

Evian put a hand on Charles' shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Charles muttered.

"No, it isn't. You can always talk to me. Even if Alice has to track me down, you can always come to me, alright?"

Charles nodded, fixing his glasses.

"What's on your mind?" Evian asked.

"I just wish nothing was on my mind. I wish my head would just be blank." He admitted. He leaned away from his desk, staring into the little hole in his paper.


	37. Chapter 37

Erik put a hand on his face as he leaned against his bedroom door, feeling the tears slip from under his fingers, trailing down the warped skin of his deformity. What father ever had to tell their children to say goodbye to their mother for the last time?

It was the last time. She had told him that she didn't want her children to see her die. That she wanted them to be able to say what they wanted so they wouldn't live with regrets with what they never got to say in her last days. These were her last days.

The last several months had been torture, watching her waste away and become the shell of the woman she had once been. She hung on for Harmony and Charles, he knew that.

He didn't want to cry anymore, then again the only thing he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and never stop.

Which was worse?

The woman he loved leaving him of her own free will?

Or...

The woman he loved being for away from him by force?

He didn't know which one would hurt more. All he knew is that he would have given up Christine sooner if that had meant he had more time with Alanna. Hell, he would give his own life if it meant she lived. He didn't know who to make that bargain with though.

He rested his forehead on the wood of the door, waiting for Charles. Harmony had said her bit and had confined herself to her room. She refused to talk to even him anymore. He remembered when she was a little girl, when they were so close. When she would curl up on his lap and he would sing her to sleep. Life was so simple back then. What had happened to those years? Before Philippe, before Meg, before the disease... He loved his son though, and he wouldn't give up any of that if it meant not having him here. He couldn't escape that guilt when he had thrown Alanna down, knowing his was the cause for his son's disability. It was his fault.

All of this. It was only a matter of time before karma came around and kicked him in the ass. And it had come back with a vengeance.

It was cruel. All of this.

Erik moved away from the door as it opened. He helped Charles from the room before shutting the door behind him. He looked up at his father, his green-blue eyes glistening.

"I told her I'd behave, and that I'd listen to you, and... I didn't cry, I didn't want her to see me cry. I stayed strong. For her."

He wrapped his arms around his legs and broke down. Erik kneeled to the ground, holding his son tightly.

()

Erik held Alanna's hand tightly between his, as though if he let go she would evaporate, leave him. She was so weak... So frail. Her blonde hair was limp and tangled, her skin pale and blotchy. He hated seeing her like this. He hated watching her die.

"Don't leave me." He whispered. "Please."

"I have no choice."

"I know."

She sighed and turned her head.

"I can do this without you."

She looked back at him, a sad smile painting her face. "Yes you can. You'll take care of Charles and you'll continue to guide Harmony. I know you will. You're a wonderful father Erik. I wouldn't have married you if I didn't believe it."

He pressed his lips to the back of her hand, striving to hold back his emotion.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I love you, so much." Erik choked on the words.

"You worry too much," she murmured.

"I have to, because you don't." He said, kissing her forehead, letting his hand linger there. Her skin was like ice.

"Promise me you won't go back. Please promise me you won't let OG back in." She breathed.

Erik stared at her. "O-of course." He stuttered. "Never. I promise."

She smiled sadly before closing her eyes. He gripped her hand tighter, squeezing his eyes shut against the tears. It was a few minutes before her fingers went limp and he didn't bother to hold back as he cried. He didn't want to open his eyes. He wanted to remember his wife as she had been, smiling, happy, alive... He didn't want to open his eyes only to see her truly gone.

"Alanna," he whispered, still keeping his eyes closed, as he rested his forehead against hers. "Good bye, my angel."

-the end

**Sorry to end on such a sad note! We'll see Charles again soon in Angel's Embrace which should be up soon! Thank you for reading!**


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